Young people, behave wisely during your engagement

I’ve noticed that some young Christians begin to behave differently, indecently, during their engagement. I’m talking about inappropriate manifestations. They seem to have taken examples from one or another and things are deteriorating, and this makes me very sad.

The Bible teaches:

Likewise urge the young men to be sensible; in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us. (Titus 2: 6-8 NASB)

The period from engagement to wedding is one of preparation for the wedding. I have always urged young people to arrange this period not to be a long one, but a short one. Since you were declared engaged, all attention is on you. This is also a test for the purity of your feelings, the purity of your love. How will the engagement remain in the memory of those who know you? If you allow yourself to show intimacy, embracing each other, this is not normal. You are thus questioning the purity of your love and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is not good to do that. It is good to have a measure, to behave in moderation, so that people see that you have clean, beautiful feelings. Your behavior cannot be the same as between a husband and wife. You haven’t reached intimacy yet. You reach intimacy on the day you enter into the marriage covenant. Also pay attention to the pictures you post on Facebook, on social networks. Don’t post pictures that give you a bad name.

Think about the world we live in. People do not even believe that Christians can live a clean life, that the first night, the first sexual intercourse takes place on the wedding day. If you start showing intimacy to those who are always living in cohabitation, then people think the same about you. You are thus destroying the image of the Church. Is that what you want? We, the pastors of the Church, other Christians, are very saddened when we see such manifestations.

Many times we are just ashamed to come and tell you, to rebuke you. You are leaders, people who are involved with us in the ministry, who have learned well from the Word how to behave. Why do you behave like you’ve never been taught this? Some of you, when confronted, point to others who have done the same. You can be sure that I’ve confronted each of you, but I don’t understand why you’re encouraged by bad examples? Why don’t you follow beautiful examples that live with all godliness? I urge all the saints, the faithful in the church, to do your duty to confront your sinful brother or sister. These things should not be discussed with others or come to me as a pastor.

The engagement period is not for you to make each other dizzy and thus deviate from the holy calling we have. We are a royal priesthood with responsibilities in the gospel. Don’t cause each other to stumble. If you start discouraging each other during your engagement, what will it be like to be married?

Because you are in the process of preparing for your wedding, I recommend the book “Bible Tips for Young People” which can also be purchased electronically. At the same time, I suggest the course “Marriage Without Regrets”, which will help you understand how to benefit from a marriage without regrets. I invite you to attend the “Spiritual Counseling” session at the Institute for Inductive Bible Study in Moldova, where the course “Marriage Without Regrets” will be taught. The session will take place inside the “Harul” church, located on 2/8 Ciocârliei Street, Chisinau, from September 5 to 17, 2016. For details, contact: +373 69 966779 or

I urge you to read these articles and watch shows on this topic:

You need to understand that engagement is a serious commitment. The two promised to get married. Just as marriage is an earthly reflection of a heavenly image, so it is with an engagement. The two must keep this beautiful and clean image until marriage.

Translated by Olya Trikolich