How should engaged young people behave?

The young engaged couple have promised to belong to each other and, in the purity of heart and body, they are waiting for their wedding day to give themselves to each other. The engaged couple during their engagement has the responsibility to behave properly until marriage, without giving anyone the opportunity to speak badly of them and defame the name of Christian. Holy Scripture specifically tells us how young engaged people should behave until marriage.

Do not touch

The apostle Paul exhorts the unmarried to “not touch the woman” (1 Cor. 7:1). The word “touch” refers to a manipulation that exerts an influence in order to ignite sexual desires. Touching refers to the way we speak, behave, look at or act towards a person of the opposite sex. The engagement period can take either more or less time, depending on the circumstances and decisions of the betrothed, so the betrothed must be very careful not to light the sexual fire ahead of time. Touching, kissing, hugging, sitting in each other’s arms, etc. are dangerous and not allowed during this waiting period.

Spend time in a group

Young fiancés tend to withdraw to a more isolated place, only the two of them, but precisely marriage is for that, not the time during their engagement. Young people are encouraged to spend time in a group with their friends building relationships, serving the Lord Jesus, and meeting the needs of those in the Church. Isolation in pairs before marriage erodes the charm of intimacy afterward.

No sex

During the engagement, young people will refrain from having sex and behaving as if they were husband and wife. Infidelity or sexual intercourse between fiancés is seen as adultery and condemned before God.

“If there is a girl who is a virgin engaged to a man, and another man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city and you shall stone them to death; the girl, because she did not cry out in the city, and the man, because he has violated his neighbor’s wife. Thus you shall purge the evil from among you.” (Deuteronomy 22: 23-24 NASB)


Don’t give a chance for to others to speak badly of you

The apostle Paul exhorts Titus to be an example to the young men in moderation and good deeds in all respects.

Likewise urge the young men to be sensible; in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us. (Titus 2: 6-8 NASB)

Since young people are prone to be hasty and uncontrollable in their behavior, their greatest need is to be sober, to cultivate balance and self-restraint in everyday life. This is the quality that young people need most.

When you learn to behave in a balanced way, you will not allow your family or your opponents to speak ill of you. As a fiancé, seek to be a good example for the young Christians around you and for the unbelievers who live in a world full of immorality.

Translated bu Olya Trikolich