Why is it sin to have sex with a woman before marriage, if you love her and want to marry her? God loves me and her anyway and we love Him, too. We pray together and we plan to marry in about a year, because now we have no possibility, why is it wrong if we love each other? An year earlier or a year later, is there any difference for God, who is the master of eternity?
Because sex was created by God for a husband and his wife in marriage, that’s why it is a sin to have such relations before marriage. Sex before marriage is fornication and it brings serious consequences both in eternity and here, on earth. God warns us when He says:
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled;for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)(NASB)
Your sexual relationship before marriage, before entering the covenant of marriage, is fornication and it dishonors your marriage and defiles your marriage bed, that is your sexual relationship within marriage. You will not be able to enjoy each other as you dream now, just because you have chosen to defile your marital relationship by fornication you have chosen to practice now.
It is true that God loves both you and her and that is exactly why He wants your good and commanded you to abstain from sexual immorality, or fro any sexual relationship before marriage. Have you ever read the Bible passage that says:
Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but theimmoral man sins against his own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18)(NASB)
What about this text from the Bible?
For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that youabstain fromsexual immorality; thateach of you know how topossess his ownvessel in sanctification andhonor, not inlustful passion, like the Gentiles whodo not know God. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)(NASB)
How can you say that you pray and you love God when you had to abstain from fornication, but you have chosen to live in it. Instead of possessing your own vessel in sanctification and honor, you have chosen to live as the Gentiles, that are pagans, in lustful passion and you still say you love God. No, my dear. You behave like pagans who do not know God. It is also written in Scripture:
The one who says, “I have come toknow Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is aliar, andthe truth is not in him; but whoeverkeeps His word, in him thelove of God has truly been perfected.By this we know that we are in Him (1 John 2:4-5)(NASB)
You shall no longer think that you are Christians and that you love God. You have chosen to live as the Gentiles, in concubinage, and make cheap excuses, as they do. Cease to do this because the will of God is your sanctification and fornication should not even be mentioned among you, if you say that you love God.
You ask why it is sin if you love each other, referring to your sexual relationship before marriage? This is not love but lustful passion and adultery, that will bring serious consequences in your life. If you truly loved the girl you want to propose marriage, you would not use her like an adulteress and would not defile her marriage and her future marital relationship. You want to have sexual relations with her not because you loves her, but because of your lustful passion, and it is also because of her lustful passion that she wants to have sexual relations with you, not because she loves you. True love seeks the highest good of the loved person and true love waits until marriage.
You ask what difference it is if you get married now or later? Now you commit fornication, because you have sexual relations outside marriage and the sexual relationship after you enter into the covenant of marriage will be a right and blessed one in the eyes of God. If you still say that there is no difference, why then you do not get married? Why do not you make the effort to be officially married? Is it because you do not want to assume responsibility? Do you say that you do not have money to organize the wedding? Then, make it as modest as possible, invite only relatives, or even just parents, but perform the wedding ceremony and do not live in adultery.
God help you understand His Word and not live in lustful passion, as the Gentiles do, nor be deceived that you are children of God and that you love Him while trampling under foot His Word and dishonoring the mystery of marriage.
Translated by Felicia Rotaru