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Question:
Peace, pastor. Thank you for the article on on how to deal with the girl who refuses to marry you. I have a girl in my life that I truly love. She is the first girl I fell in love with, but when I proposed to her to marry me, she did not accept it. I now understand why. At that time, I had a problem that I could not build good relationships with people around me. Would God be able to put us together again if she is the person whom God wants to give me as my wife? How can I now build our friendship so that in the future we develop it into a relationship? Thank you.
Dear young man, I’m sorry that the girl you love refused you when you asked her for marriage. If you think that the reason is that you can’t build relationships and maintain them, then you have to learn this. I can’t say what the girl’s answer will be in the future if you ask her again in marriage, but I know a certain thing, that you have to make an effort to build a true relationship with God that will transform your character, mature, and teach you to build relationships with people too. Even if the girl had said “Yes” when you asked her for marriage, you could not have been happy, and you could not make her happy. I recommend you to get the Bible study course Building a Marriage that Really Works .“Building a Marriage that Really Works” by Kay Arthur and David & BJ Lawson and study it. After doing this course, take the course “Marriage without regrets” written by Kay Arthur. This is a very deep course that helps you learn all about marriage in order to be prepared and make the right choices when choosing the person you will ask to marry you. If you received a refusal from the girl you love, I think you’re suffering now. Otherwise you would not have asked me the question. I want to encourage you with this word from the Bible:
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)(NASB)
This refusal is a trial for you, and you must take advantage of the effect it must have on your character. Learn to stop thinking about the failure and do not be focused on this girl. Do not think about her, but turn your heart and thoughts to God and invest in the relationship with Him. Many times God asks us to give Him the most expensive things we have or takes from us certain things or people who become our idols so that we can turn our gaze towards Him – the source of all the happiness from whom we receive all things. Now, go to God and seek peace, joy and fulfillment in Him. Start studying the Holy Scriptures daily and deeply and receive this girl’s rejection as the one that came from God and what God’s will is for you. Do not doubt any moment of the will of God and of His love, for it is written:
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)(NASB)
The situation through which you pass through comes from God, and it is for your own good. I know it is hard, but pray before God and thank Him for the refusal of this girl, for this is for your good. I have assumed that you are a disciple of Christ and that you have experienced the birth again. Then all the teachings I gave you will help you much if you apply them. If you are not a Christian yet and you have not received the Holy Spirit, then you will have no power, and it may happen that my advice seems foolish.
That is why I advise you to receive our Lord Jesus Christ and enter the New Covenant with Him.
The greatest thing you will realize is that you will receive forgiveness of your sins and the promise of the inheritance of eternal life. Even now, when you take this decision, you will also receive the Holy Spirit that will help you understand the Bible, live a righteous life, be victorious over sin, and follow God’s will in all things. Maybe the refusal of this girl, God used to bring you to the article written by me. Contact me, and I will tell you about the importance of believing in Jesus Christ with all your heart and how to become His disciple. This is the most important message that will deliver you not only of your happiness on this earth and a blessed marriage, but how you will spend eternity and where your soul will go after death. Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ to have part in eternal life.
After becoming a Christian, if the girl you asked for in marriage is not Christian, go to her and tell her about the Lord Jesus Christ and the urgency of her return to Christ to receive the forgiveness of sins and the gift of eternal life . Then pray for her to be pleasing to God and to grow up in her knowledge by studying the Bible to do God’s will on this earth and be happy. If you really love this girl, you will want her to get her into eternal happiness in the kingdom of God and not have the destiny of all those who reject Jesus Christ, that is, the torments of hell. May God help you to follow all the advice I have given to you, for it will make you happy on this earth and in the eternity.
Translated by Didina Cravcenco