What to do when you are in love with your colleague who is not a Christian?


I am a young Christian man. I do not think that my denomination matters… I am in love with a colleague, who lives with her boyfriend but she does not seem to be satisfied of the relationship they have. We haven’t yet gone out together, we just talked on the phone several times. I want to marry her. I do not know what her intentions are and I am not yet too much emotionally involved. I wish I knew how will it be better to act from now on? Let’s say she decides that she no longer wants to live with her boyfriend. Let’s say that after she reads the Bible which I intend to give her, she returns to God? Should I now deny any feelings towards her and recommend her to marry her current boyfriend? I would be grateful if you tell me your point of view on this situation. Maybe there are other young people in my situation.

Surely there are other young people in your situation and they need to know what God says in the Scripture. Previously I have written several articles where I addressed this issue in terms of various life situations that readers have presented to me.

Believer can marry only the Lord

Yes, it is sin and wrong to marry a person who is not part of the New Covenant in which you are if you were born again. Christians can marry only in the Lord, that means only a born again Christian. Knowing this important fact you should not even think about the option to marry a non-Christian girl and so much more to let your imagination or feelings be involved in this relationship.

Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)(NASB)

What can you do for this girl?

Tell her the Gospel message and do it soon. Take the Bible that you were going to give her and go and tell her the Gospel and that she needs to repent.

I am not sure what you meant when you said that she lives with her boyfriend, but if this means that she has sex with him without being married, you must say that this is a grave sin and an evil thing that will affect her marriage a lot and will bring their eternal punishment unless they repent, as the Scripture says:

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)(NASB)

If you want to marry, you must tell God this need and marry the Christian girl for whom He will pour love into your heart. Maybe just because you do not watch over your heart and think to marry an unbelieving girl you haven’t yet noticed the Christian girl that God has prepared to give you as a wife.

Translated by Felicia Rotaru