How to proceed when the person to whom you preached the Gospel fell in love with you?


I want to ask you if you think that an unbelieving person can truly repent if he is told about God by the believing person whom he likes? I met a boy with not such an honorable past, but he recognized all his mistakes and I understood that he was sorry for everything he had done. I talked with him about God, he agreed with me, wants to change, he also listened to some sermons on the internet. However, he does not attend the church and does not read the Bible. We do not live in the same city, and I think that if we lived, he would go with me to church. My problem is that I do not know if such a relationship would have a future. Even if he goes to church or he wants to know God more, I am skeptical – will he do this not to lose me from his life or because he really wants a relationship with God, whether there will be something between us or not. And do you think that it possible a blessed relationship between a believer and a person who has recently returned to the Lord? Or maybe the person who has recently returned to the Lord must grow in the Lord more to be able to enter the marriage covenant?

There are more questions asked in the message, so I will answer each of them separately.

Can anyone really repent if a believing person whom he likes tells him the Gospel?

Yes. One can repent if he believes wholeheartedly in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The Gospel, not the person, is the one that brings salvation into a person’s life. But it is highly probable that one may pretend that he has repented just to win the repented person and get married. I have seen many such cases, both girls and boys.

But I also know some people who have heard the Gospel from Christian men or women, fell in love with them and then married. But they were even more in love with the Gospel, believed in the Lord Jesus and chose to follow Him all their life.

However, when someone falls in love with you, after you have proclaimed the Gospel to him, you have to know that it’s a delicate situation and that person’s motivation may be different.

Make difference between the desire to change and the change itself (repentance)

You say that the boy whom you met has “not such an honorable past”, but he “recognized all his mistakes and I understood that he was sorry for everything he had done.” It is good that you have shared with him about God, and it is good that he agrees with you, but the fact that he wants to change and that he “listens to some sermons on the Internet” does not mean he has already changed. The real change in one’s life comes only when one enters the New Covenant with Jesus Christ.

The true born-again Christian can not live without Church and without studying the Bible

You say that the boy “does not go to church and does not read the Bible.” This is clear evidence that his life has not changed, he was not born again and did not enter the New Covenant with Jesus Christ. I am also tempted to think that he is listening to sermons on the Internet to please you and make you think that he is a Christian. You should know that anyone who is born again wishes and seeks for fellowship with God by reading the Scripture and fellowship with Christians going to church services and Bible study groups.

I remember about a young man who repented last fall after I had presented the Gospel to him through the site, email and Skype. Once he believed in Jesus Christ and entered the New Covenant, he could call to ask me questions from the Bible every hour day and night. He was so hungry and thirsty after the righteousness of God. Then he told his parents that he would be baptized and was subjected to great persecution. However, through all that suffering he did not yield. Only when his parents held him under house arrest and took the Bible from him, he decided in the middle of winter during night, to leave his village for Chisinau that he might study the Bible again and go to church.

Another young woman, after she entered the New Covenant with the Lord Jesus Christ was beaten by her parents every Saturday and threatened to not go to church. But she got up every Sunday very early in the morning, when her parents were still sleeping, came to the bus station and came to Chisinau to be at the church service and listen to the teachings of the Bible and have fellowship with God’s children. Then, when she returned home was beaten again. That continued a year and she did not give up. See how her new birth has been manifested. And this young man has no persecution, and yet he does not even want to go to church and study the Bible … You can be sure that he has not been born again and you must tell him this.

Would he go to church if you lived in the same city?

Yes, he would probably go, and would do it just to entice you and win you. Do not be naive and do not flatter yourself with such thoughts …

Can your relationship have a future?

You should not even think about it. I advise you to deny this thought, which is now a temptation for you. The fact that you came up with this idea is already a proof that a feeling has started to increase in your heart, that can become a great temptation and a reason of falling for you. I fear that if that boy would begin to insist on your relationship you may be overcome by the desire to marry him. Therefore, my advice to you is to break this relationship now and when he wants to invite you to meet, you shall establish the church as the meeting place and the time – the divine service. Avoid any other dating, so that you may guard over your heart. Take heed of the words of God which says:

Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)(NASB)

And it is also written

I want you to swear, O daughters of Jerusalem, do not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases. – (Song of Songs 8:4)(NASB)

I think you’re quite aware that spending time alone with a man is enough to give birth to a strong feeling into the heart of a girl. Watch over your heart for the Lord allows you to marry only a Christian man who has entered the New Covenant with Jesus Christ and is born again.

Should the person who has recently came to God grow in order to build a Christian family?

Yes, it is necessary. But, especially, it is necessary to be truly born again and in the Covenant with the Lord Jesus Christ. Be wise and say yes only when you will be proposed marriage by a true Christian man, who is born again and lives being led by the Holy Spirit. God bless you so.

Translated by Felicia Rotaru