How to act correctly when you are proposed marriage?

Vietnam 2021Before this I wrote the articles Dating and successful marriage and How to propose marriage to a girl?. The last post was addressed especially to boys. This article has practical advice for girls, how to act correctly when the day comes and they are proposed marriage. This I have taught my daughter and if you are a girl, you can profit from this advice. If you are a parent, I invite you to read this article and then to advise your daughter in regard to this, because it is our responsability as parents to teach our children wisdom for life. So, how to act when you are proposed marriage?

1.Accept the first invitation. In the article Dating and successful Marriage I have showed the reasons why it is not good to go on dates before marriage. Though, when a wise and an upright man invites to talk particularly to you, don’t reject his invitation. It is possible that you are invited on this date to be proposed marriage. Even if you presuppose this and you already know that the answer is negative, don’t reject his invitation. This will show lack of respect from you. Something important: on this date you can be invited at a restaurant, café, etc. and not at his home or at another place that can bring you a bad reputation if you go there.

2.Reject the second invitation. If you have been invited on this date and you haven’t been proposed marriage, don’t accept another invitation from this man. I know someone who invites a girl  for many years, once a year to go somewhere in the city, to go for a walk, or to have a meal together, but till today he hasn’t decided to propose her marriage. It is wise for this girl not to accept any invitation from this man. If he didn’t propose marriage to you, that means that he wants just to date with you, to spend time together, but this is neither correct nor good. Reject to see such a man.

3.Be ready for the offer. If you have been invited for the first time, expect to be proposed marriage. It is good to think when you are still at home how you will act and what answer you will give.

4.If the answer is “YES”, it is good to express your joy and your feelings. The man who proposed marriage to you has found value in you, and it will be good to show the value that you see in him too. God said in the Book of Proverbs that “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones”(Proverbs 16:24)(NASB)

5.If the answer is “NO”, be very attentive and wise when you say this. I know a Christian guy who had a timid character. He was in love with a girl, called her to have a meal at a restaurant, met her with flowers and when he proposed marriage to her, she answered:“ How did you dare think that I could marry one like you?” The answer that she has given, showed the value of her character and made the boy feel bad and cheap. Don’t ever do this. If you have to say him “no”, it is better to thank firstly the man who proposes marriage to you because he has seen such a value in you, that he is decided to enter the covenant of marriage. Tell him nicely that you don’t have for him the feelings that a girl needs to have to answer “Yes”, that you respect him and his proposal, but the answer is “No”. This will make you a good reputation and will help him to go quicklier over this answer. I think you realize that such an answer hurts any man’s heart who is in such a situation. In this way, you will show respect to him and will help him to go quicklier and highly over this.

6.If you don’t have the liberty to give any answer, ask for time to think. Ask as much time as you need. If it will be tried to put pressure on you, or if the boy refuses to wait for the answer, I think it is clear that you had to say “NO” from the beginning.

May God bless you with wisdom and distinction to accept only when you will be proposed marriage by a righteous man.

Translated by Djugostran Felicia