I have a little problem … I like a boy for half a year. I am 16 years and he is 19. The boy told me that he liked me, but we could not have more than a simple friendship at the moment, the reason was that he went to England to study. He has a brother who studies there and he also has a girlfriend. From the beginning I asked God to forget him if he is not from Him. But, I have not yet forgotten him and I feel for him what I haven’t felt before for any other boy, it is different. I want very much to have something more than a simple relation of friendship. Can you help me. What should I do? I pray day and night for him and for our relationship.
When you say you want to have something more than a relationship of friendship, I understand that you think of your marriage with him.
One of the key phrases in the book Song of Solomon, that Sulamith said (who was in love as you are now) is:
I want you to swear, O daughters of Jerusalem, do not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases. (Song of Solomon 8:4)(NASB)
You see, it is an imperative and this shows that it depends on you if you arouse or not your love. The choice is yours. Now, however, by what you do, it seems that you provoke your love, at least, so I understand from your message. You say from the beginning that you prayed to forget this boy if he is not from God and at the same time, you say that you pray day and night for your relationship with him. You see, this is just how you arouse your love and you should not do it. You’d better pray for his salvation and holiness.
As the boy has chosen to study now, it is good for you too not to think of love or to marry him now, but begin to study as well, and thus to prepare to maintain a happy marriage.
The fact that the boy said you that he liked you, it does not mean at all that he wants to marry you ever before. Learn to watch over your heart and to wait until God sends the man who will propose you.
God’s will for you, as a virgin and unmarried is to care for the things of God, as to be holy both with the body and with the spirit and thus to please God. So it is written in the I Epistle of Paul to Corinthians, chapter 7.
I think you will find useful the article what to do when love and passions are not reciprocal?
If you receive this advice, what will you do next? What will be your next steps to exceed the state you are in?
Translated by Felicia Rotaru