Family team development (part I)

Every day, in one way or another, we are part of a team. In some cases we can choose the team we want to work in, other times we can’t. For example, no one can choose their parents and no one can choose their children. The family is a team that, if we don’t like it, we can’t replace it with another. But we can make a difference in it, so that we all feel good.

Usually, you do not feel good in a team where there is no unity, where team members do not respect their responsibilities or may not know them or do not want to take responsibility. How to proceed when we have problems like this in the family? How to develop team spirit in the family in such a way that each member of the family is fulfilled and each one can achieve in life and be useful to society? The development of team spirit in the family must be a priority for every couple who wants to have peace, tranquility and harmony in the family.

Biblical Team Model (Exodus 18)

Before discussing team spirit, I would like to follow a team model from the Bible. The book of Exodus, which is the second book in the Bible, tells us how God delivered the people of Israel out of Egyptian bondage through Moses. Concerned about his ministry, Moses sends his family, wife, and two sons to Jethro, the priest of Midian, his father-in-law. After a while, Jethro brings his sons and his wife back to the camp of the Israelites:

And it came about the next day, that Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood before Moses from the morning until the evening.  Now when Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this thing that you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge and all the people stand before you from morning until evening?”  Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God.  When they have a dispute, it comes to me, and I judge between someone and his neighbor and make known the statutes of God and His laws.”  Moses’ father-in-law then said to him, “The thing that you are doing is not good.  You will surely wear out, both yourself and these people who are with you, because the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone.  Now listen to me: I will give you counsel, and God be with you. You be the people’s representative before God, and you bring the]disputes to God,  then admonish them about the statutes and the laws, and make known to them the way in which they are to walk and the work they are to do.  Furthermore, you shall select out of all the people able men who fear God, men of truth, those who hate dishonest gain; and you shall place these over them as leaders of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens.  Let them judge the people at all times; and let it be that they will bring to you every major matter, but they will judge every minor matter themselves. So it will be easier for you, and they will carry the burden with you.  If you do this thing and God so commands you, then you will be able to endure, and all these people also will go to their places in peace.” So Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything that he had said. (Exodus 18:13-24 NASB)

So we see the people of Israel as a large team, led by Moses, who takes full responsibility in serving the people. In such a team structure, the leader exhausts himself and exhausts the people. Moreover, in this case Moses did not have time for his family and was forced to send his wife and children to his father-in-law in Midian.

What are Jethro’s tips for improving the situation?

1. To teach the people what to do.

2. To share responsibilities with trusted people, so that they can carry out the task of leadership together.

3. The people are responsible to bring to him only the important cases.

In verse 24, the Bible tells us that “Moses listened to his father-in-law’s counsel and did everything he said,” and in verse 27 we are told that “Moses sent his father-in-law to his land.” We see that the wife and children are already staying with Moses.

So, the secret of a model team is in a good structure, namely when:

1. Responsibilities are divided according to the possibility of each.
2. Everyone knows their responsibilities well and fulfills them.
3. Everyone is subordinate to the leader.
4. There is good communication between team members and, in particular, with the leader.
5. Difficult situations are brought to the attention of the leader.

Such a team model can be successfully applied in the family. What could be more beautiful than when all family members know and fulfill their responsibilities, communicate with each other, children are obedient to their parents, and each considers the needs and interests of other family members?

The biblical model of team spirit development in the family

It’s much easier to learn something when you look at a model. The problem with our society is that we no longer have role models to follow and build our lives. But God has left on the pages of the Holy Scriptures models from which we can learn what to do and what not to do when we want to develop team spirit in our families. Let’s see what we can learn first from the example of Elkanah.

The example of Elkanah

Elkanah was an Israelite who lived as a judge. In the book of JUDGES this period is described as follows:

In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes. (Judges 21:25 NASB)

Studying this book, we see that the people were far from God and even the Levites, those who served in God’s temple, lived in sin and did not know God’s will. In this context, Elkanah chooses to live according to God’s will, obeying the Law. He had two wives. One was called Hannah and the other Penina. Penina had children, but Hannah did not. The family’s problem was that Hannah was suffering because she had no children and besides:

Her rival, moreover, would provoke her bitterly to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. (1 Samuel 1:6 NASB)

What does Elkana do to develop team spirit in her family and maintain unity?

1. Motivate all family members to the same goal – to worship God

How does he do it?

Now this man would go up from his city yearly to worship and to sacrifice to the Lord of armies in Shiloh. And the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests to the Lord there. When the day came that Elkanah sacrificed, he would give portions to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters; Then the man Elkanah went up with all his household to offer to the Lord the yearly sacrifice and to pay his vow. (1 Samuel 1:3-4, 21)

2. Improves conflict between family members

Hannah suffered because she had no children, but she suffered even more because Penina never stopped offending her. What does Elkanah do to comfort her? We saw above that, when he offered the sacrifice, he gave equal parts to Peninnah and the children he had from her, and to Hannah he doubled:

but to Hannah he would give a double portion, because he loved Hannah, but the Lord had closed her womb. (1 Samuel 1:5 NASB)

We see that he did not remain indifferent to the pain of his wife, but neither did he quarrel with Peninnah. This would have further increased the conflict. He sought to comfort Hannah through his actions, giving her a double portion at the table. He also comforted her with his words:

Then Elkanah her husband would say to her, “Hannah, why do you weep, and why do you not eat, and why is your heart sad? Am I not better to you than ten sons?” (1 Samuel 1:8 NASB)

3. Supports the initiative of team members and helps them achieve their goals

In her great desire to have a child, Hannah makes a vow to the Lord:

And she made a vow and said, “Lord of armies, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your bond-servant and remember me, and not forget Your bond-servant, but will give Your bond-servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and a razor shall never come on his head.” (1 Samuel 1:11 NASB)

Old Testament law says:

 “Every vow and every binding oath to humble herself, her husband may confirm it or her husband may annul it. ( Numbers 30:13)

After the Lord gives a son to Hannah, she tells her husband about her intention:

But Hannah did not go up, and said to her husband, “When I wean the baby, I will take him to be placed before the Lord and remain there forever.” Elkanah her husband said to her,

But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, “I will not go until the child is weaned; then I will bring him, so that he may appear before the Lord and stay there for life.”  Elkanah her husband said to her, “Do what seems best to you. Stay until you have weaned him; only may the Lord confirm His word.” So the woman stayed and nursed her son until she weaned him. (1 Samuel 1:22-23 NASB)

Moreover, Elkana helps her achieve her goal:

Now when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, with a three-year-old bull, one ephah of flour, and a jug of wine, and brought him to the house of the Lord in Shiloh, although the child was young. (1 Samuel 1:22-23 NASB)

An insignificant family in Israel, but which later became a great blessing to the whole nation and made a difference in the history of the people of Israel.

Read the rest of the article here: “Developing team spirit (part II)“.

Translated by Aliona Soltan