What to do when the wife leaves you to go with another man?

I would like to answer in this article to a man who asked me the following question: 

With the hope that I will be understood, I need some advice. I am 31 years and I am married for almost 2 years. Now, after we have met some financial problems my wife decided to go into the arms of another man who offered her more money. And I remained with a heartache that puts me down sometimes and I do not know what to do. Can anyone help me? Hoping I will get an answer, I thank you in advance.

Investigate the reason why your wife has left you 

Whatever is the cause she has left you, it is not an excuse for your wife who left you for another man, but it is better to investigate in the light of truth and see what is your fault and if you have not contributed to it somehow. Once the Lord Jesus said:

Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes! (The Gospel of Matthew 18:7)(NASB)

Maybe you have created any occasion to your wife to fall prey to adultery? Maybe you treated her without the necessary affection? Have you fulfilled the duty of the husband? As I wrote above, this is no excuse for anyone and everyone will bear personal responsibility for the choices they make. The wife will answer before God for the adultery she has chosen to live in. But if you have any guilt for it, ask for forgiveness from God and from the person to which you were guilty.

Save your wife if you can

When the wife left you for another man, God says that this is a serious reason to leave your wife. But if you want to follow the example of our heavenly Father, seek to save your wife of the passion and temptation where she fell. To learn more how God has proceeded in a similar situation, read chapter 16 from the book of the prophet Ezechiel. But if you have done everything and it doesn’t give any positive result, or the situation is such that it can not take anything …

Receive this thing as given by God

I know that it is easy to say these words when you are not in similar situations and  more difficult when you pass through them, but such an advice the righteous Job gave, just when he went through a worse situation, when he lost possessions, children and health. And all had come over him suddenly. While he was in terrible pain, he took a shard to scratch and sat on the ashes.

Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips. (Job 2:9-10)(NASB)

Trust the promises of God

He says so in the Bible :

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)(NASB)

If you are a child of God, all things, including the tragedy you have passed and it seems that you continue to pass, it also works for your own good. I know it is hard to understand that for the moment, but later it will look better. But if you are not a child of God, hurry to get back with Him through faith in the Lord Jesus through repentance and new birth. Do not forget that all things work only for the good of those who love God. Those who say desperately over the glass of wine that “all things are for the better” are terrible wrong.

Realize the freedom you have

Divorce, regretfully, is not a new thing under the sun and it doesn’t happen to you first. Others have exceeded this test and you will have to exceed it too. When He talks about divorce, God says:

Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. (1 Corinthians 7:15)(NASB)

If the wife has decided to leave, it is her choice and you can not stop her. God’s Word says that from now on you are no longer bound by her, i.e. you are free to marry who you want, just in the Lord, that certain person has to be a believer and in covenant with the Lord Jesus Christ. Before that, however, it is important to realize in your mind that you are free and you shall not keep yourself tied in your mind of a person who you are no longer tied, because that person has broken the covenant of your marriage.

Search for consolation and encouragement from God

God can help you to pass over this and more, make you happy for the rest of your life. Psalm 68:6 says:

God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, only the rebellious dwell in a parched land

Begin to study seriously and with dedication the Holy Scriptures that will give you wisdom for this specific situation and for the rest of your life. The Scriptures will also give you comfort and hope, as apostle Paul says:

For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. (Romans 15:4)(NASB) 

Pray to God in a systematic way to give you peace in your heart and work full repentance in the hearts of all those that have caused you spiritual wounds. Serve God and people with great joy.

Translated by Felicia Djugostran