What should you do in order to not end up in the nursing home?

After watching the video report below, I was forced to write this article. I hope that I will sensitize through the Word of God both parents who do not realize that they are in the direction of “elderly foster care” and children who have sent their parents to nursing homes, or worse, have completely forgotten about them and have abandoned them. First I invite you to watch the report. 

Do not accept that these are the times

In the report, one of the elders, when talking about the child who no longer comes to visit him, says: “What can I do? Such are the times…” This is a great deception. In fact, when people say that, they mean that the time has come for children to have such an attitude, and that is normal. The way it has been done so far has brought us to such times. The communist system made parents believe that daycare and school can provide the necessary education and people, whether imposed or voluntarily, took their children to kindergarten at an early age to succeed in work, not to lose their jobs, not to lose years of work, etc.

Coming home from work in the evening, they were on their way to pick up the children, then to feed them, to wash them and to put them to bed, and it took extra effort to build a relationship with the child, to teach him respect, love and affection. Few understood and were ready to make the effort. Thus, the parents left the education up to the daycare and the school and now, those children who have reached adulthood leave their parents in the care of the state, taking them to elderly care homes. Do not simply accept that this is the way things go, but live correctly at all times. I know many parents who know that cohabitation is a bad thing and have never allowed themselves to live like that, but their children bring their partners home and live with them in cohabitation. When I ask people how they can accept such a lifestyle from their children, they say, “such are the times.” It’s not the times that are to blame. Those who agree to follow the evil course and the bad attitudes that are promoted in these times, they bear the responsibility for the fate of themselves and their children. 

Give affection to children 

Being busy and tired, going to more jobs “so that children do not miss anything,” parents often deprive their children of the most necessary thing, affection. Because parents do not realize this, we have come to have a country with orphans whose parents are alive. In Ukraine, they started calling children whose parents went abroad to work and sending them money with the term “social orphans.” How will these children be able to give affection to their parents when they do not receive this affection now? In our son’s class is a child who has not seen his mother for 8 years. He was too young when his mother left and he, at the age of 9, still doesn’t know what his mother looks like. He has not yet realized what it means to be kissed by his mother, to be held in her arms, to be caressed by her, to be stroked on the head. This is a much, much greater need than all the expensive clothes and toys her mother sends him. The woman excuses herself for not coming until she gets her papers in order. Is it wise to pay the price she is paying now? Such a mother and all those who have acted or are acting like her must be emotionally prepared for the nursing home, because that is where they will go. And don’t be surprised when they sit crying on the bench in front of the care center with their eyes long on the road in the hope that their sons or daughters will come to see them at least at Easter. 

Make sure the children are well

Parents who go abroad or those who are at work overnight say they do it to provide materially for their children. Most parents think only of meeting their children’s material needs. Then they start competing with neighbors or friends over who bought more for the children. So many times I have met people who try to brag and show “how much they take care of their children” precisely by buying them a mobile phone, computer, CD player, etc. All these things often only bring harm because they develop a bad attitude. In fact, the 15-year-old who not long ago ordered the death of his parents, was very angry with them because they only gave him $300 a week. His material needs were more than fulfilled, but his soul became a monster. Why so? Maybe because the parents thought that if they had money, they should “be good” to their child and give him everything he wanted materially. 

Teach children to honor you as a parent

The first of the 10 commandments that teaches us how to relate to people tells us how to behave primarily with parents, namely:

Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be prolonged on the land which the Lord your God gives you. (Exodus 20:12 NASB)

This respect must be taught in a practical way and must be passed on to the child from an early age, so that he may remain steadfast in this attitude until the end of his life, as Scripture says: 

Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he grows older he will not abandon it. (Proverbs 22:6 NASB)

Be an example to your children and show them how to honor their parents

I’ve heard of someone who has an impressive business and goes to his parents only once or twice a year. When he visits them, he takes them a bag of potatoes and takes money for that bag from his parents. This is not just about money… This is a very bad attitude that his children see and that is passed on to them. In fact, his children are already affected by the lack of affection they see in their family and parents. Someone heard the eldest son tell a story “with a lot of fun” about throwing a live dog into the fire. God also talks about what lies behind this deed: 

A righteous person has regard for the life of his animal, but even the compassion of the wicked is cruel. (Proverbs 12:10 NASB)

Do not have any pricks of conscience if you were right with your children

Children and their behavior is the measure by which parents, when they reach the end of their lives or into old age, measure the way they have lived their lives. Parents see their mistakes and often have pricks of conscience that they should not have.

We are responsible for providing the children with a proper education, but we cannot choose for our children and therefore we are not responsible for the choices they make, except when we have made their choices. The prophet Samuel was a righteous man, but his children chose to walk in an evil way. King Josiah, on the other hand, had a father and a grandfather who were wicked and pagans, but he chose to cling to the Lord and follow the example of King David. Everyone is responsible for the choices they make and will bear the consequences of their wrong choices.

What did your parents teach you? What did you choose? What are your parents doing now, as you read this article? Where are they? When was the last time you visited them? How do you take care of their material needs and give them affection and love? What can you do for them today? Go and do it today, because today will never happen again.

Translated by Nicoleta Vicliuc