What should the Christian woman who lives with a Muslim man do?


Pastor, I’ve been reading what you post on your Facebook page and I need your opinion. I’ve been with a Muslim man for about 2+ years, I know it’s a big sin and I pray to God almost every day to forgive me. Since I’ve been with him nothing works for me, I’ve lost my job and everything I try to do in life doesn’t work out at all. I feel depressed and angry all the time, and this man puts up with everything. He’s a good man at heart, but his religion makes me afraid. I don’t know what to do. At the same time, I also take care of my family, i.e. my mother and my nieces, they depend on me and I’m afraid to make any wrong step, I wouldn’t want my family to suffer because of me. I pray to God and believe in Jesus Christ, I read the New Testament all the time. 2 years ago I dreamt of Jesus Christ on the very first day of Easter, I woke up with a peace and happiness in my soul, as if everything that mattered before had no more meaning in my life. Since I was a little girl, my dream has been to become a nun and to dedicate my whole life to serving Jesus. I am very confused, I don’t know what to do and I am always crying and feeling angry. Please help me with some advice, I really have no one to talk to about my situation but God! He wants me to marry him, but in my heart I feel that I can’t, that he’s not the man for me and I couldn’t change my religion. I feel like I’m wasting my time with him, the way he thinks about his religion scares me sometimes.

I don’t know what your being with this Muslim man for two years or so involves, but I assume you are having sexual relations, and this is fornication and God said about it:

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. (Hebrews 13:4 NASB)

If you are worried and aware of the gravity of this sin and if you believe what God says in His word, you must urgently, today, after reading this article, interrupt any sexual relations with this man. When he comes to you, tell him that you are a Christian and that sexual relations before marriage are a sin and forbidden by God and our Lord Jesus Christ. You shouldn’t even date him, in order not to be tempted.  

Ask God with all your heart to forgive you because of the sin you have committed and make the decision to become a true disciple of our Lord Jesus Christ. If you confess your sin and if you make the decision to leave it and to follow Jesus Christ, you will be forgiven as God has promised in His Word saying:

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NASB)

As a Christian, under no circumstances can you get married to a man who is not part of the New Covenant and who is not a true disciple of Jesus Christ. For this reason, drive out from your heart any thought and hope of marriage with this man, for it is written:  

Do not be mismatched with unbelievers; for what do righteousness and lawlessness share together, or what does light have in common with darkness? Or what harmony does Christ have with Belial, or what does a believer share with an unbeliever? Or what agreement does the temple of God have with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, “I will dwell among them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate,” says the Lord. “And do not touch what is unclean; and I will welcome you. And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to Me,” says the Lord Almighty. (2 Corinthians 6:14-18 NASB)

I don’t really understand the connection between your situation and the need to support your family. But I assume that you receive support from this Muslim man for yourself and other family members. You must not put material interests above spiritual interests and obedience to God. Put all your hope in God, who said:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided to you. (Matthew 6:33 NASB)

Even today start reading the Bible with the New Testament. You must study the sound teaching of our Lord Jesus Christ continuously. Form a daily discipline of studying the Scriptures, and for this I recommend that you also get hold of the inductive Bible study course “God, are you there?” by Kay Arthur, through which you will learn the truths of the Gospel of John and form personal Bible study skills.

Look for a lively church, where the pastor preaches the teaching of the Holy Scriptures and all Christians follow the Lord Jesus and His teaching wholeheartedly, without formalism or hypocrisy. Approach the pastor and tell Him that you believed in Jesus with all your heart, you chose to be His disciple not only by name, as you have been until now. Tell the pastor that you want to be baptized through faith, according to the commandment of Jesus who said that whoever believes must be baptized. Then, get involved in the local church in every way you can and serve the Lord and people through the Gospel. 

Since you will be going to church, invite the Muslim man to come and hear the Gospel and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ to be saved. But beware of meeting with him separately in other places, lest you fall into the temptation of fornication again.

May God bless you with full obedience to Him and give salvation to the Muslim man too.

Translated by Liza Birladeanu