What shall the wife do when her husband spends more time with his friends? (7 tips)

Question:

What do you think about the fact that a young married couple argues only because of the entourage. Family quarrels are based solely on the fact that the wife does not accept her husband’s entourage as he wants. Do you find it a cause of strife in the family or even of divorce?

I do not exactly what you mean when you say entourage, but I assume they are the friends of your husbands, that he prefers to spend more time with them than at home and that these friends have a negative influence on him. If you refer to it, let us see what God says in the Holy Scripture about how you should proceed.

1. Understand and communicate to your husband that the entourage affects character and behavior 

Here are a few verses from the Bible to show us what has influence on man’s entourage:

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. (Proverbs 13:20)(NASB)

Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)(NASB)

That is why the Scripture says:

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers!  (Psalms 1:1)(NASB)

Try to find or create a proper opportunity, when you can communicate these important truths to your husband in a quiet and wise way.

2. Consider marriage and divorce from God’s perspective

Marriage is a sacred covenant entered into before God and over which God watches. He is one who unites people together. Today people do not want to consider marriage this way, but rather they have a business approach, that do not want to remain in the marriage when it is not anymore convenient or profitable. Some began to consider marriage that way during the time when Lord Jesus lived on earth. The Scripture tells us what has happened:

Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:3-9)(NASB)

According to those spoken by Jesus, only adultery committed by one of the spouses is a reason for divorce. It is true however that just because of entourage many married men and women end up falling into the sin of adultery and eventually end up in divorce. Therefore our duty is to watch one over another and if we see any danger, we shall warn the other one about it and protect us from any evil companions that corrupt good manners are beautiful relations that we want to have in marriage.

3. Avoid arguing

Perhaps frequent quarrels make your husband prefer to spend more time with his friends than with the family? If he is always scolded when he comes home, somewhere, unconsciously, family and especially his wife is associated in his mind with frequent quarrels that he wishes to avoid. The Bible says:

It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman. (Proverbs 21:19)(NASB)

And another place:

It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman. (Proverbs 25:24)(NASB)

And one more …

A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike. (Proverbs 27:15)(NASB)

Thus, do not scold your husband, because however, these arguments do not change anything for the better and they do not have the desired effect. You’d better

4. Create a pleasant entourage to your husband

When he advises Christian women how to deal with non-Christian husbands, the Apostle Peter writes this:

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external–braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. (1 Peter 3:1-6)(NASB)

When his wife will treat him with respect as described in the above verses, the man will look forward to come home and spend time in the entourage of his family.

5. Study the Holy Scriptures

I suggest you start studying as soon as possible the Scriptures because:

All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)(NASB)

From the Scriptures you will receive divine wisdom to know how to do in any situation. I recommend you very much to get the inductive Bible study book, named ”Marriage without regret” that addresses the issue that you have asked more profound and practically. An entire chapter is devoted to the role of wife and another one is about communication. And it will be even better if you can find a group of Christians who study this course under the guidance of a teacher trained at the Inductive Bible Study Institute.

6. Pray for your husband

Whenever the situation is repeated and your husband prefers the entourage of his friends, bow on your knees before God and pray for your husband, for his salvation and peace and understanding in your family. Remember that great power has the prayer of the righteous.

7. Be patient

Once you start to do as God teaches us in Scripture, it does not mean that things will change even from the first day. Be patient and do your part faithfully, as God teaches you. He will bring change at the appropriate time as He has promised:

The hope of the righteous is gladness, but the expectation of the wicked perishes. (Proverbs 10:28)(NASB)

I invite women who have experienced such situations to share comments about how God worked in their families.

Translated by Felicia Rotaru