It has recently been placed a comment at the article What does the Bible say about the role of the woman in marriage? and I was asked to write an article about the role of the man in marriage from the perspective of God, His Creator. The time we live tries to overturn the fundamental values and to change the way of perceiving things. Women, sometimes willingly, sometimes unwillingly took the role of the man and this brings lack of harmony in families and society. Because we want to live according to the purpose God created us for, because we want to have strong families and because we want to reflect the character of God in all things, it is important for each man to know what God waits for from him in marriage. It is necessary for each woman to know the role of the man in order not to take it and, inversely, to help and encourage her husband to fulfill the role set by God for him. So, what is the role of the man in marriage?
To love his wife
Apostle Paul wrote in the Epistle to Ephesians:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:25–33)(NASB)
This is the most important commandment regarding to the role of the man in marriage and its accomplishment will bring the fulfillment of all others. God expects from each man to love his wife just as Christ loves the Church and as one loves his own body. When a man shows such a love for his wife, through this he shows to all people the love that Christ has for His Church.
To admire his wife
When God created Adam and Eve, the first man and women, here is what the man said when he saw the woman for the first time:
The man said, ”This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2:23)(NASB)
The expression “this is now” shows admiration for someone who was waited and wanted a lot. Such attitude each man should have towards his wife all the days of their marriage.
To separate from his parents
After reading the title of the article, the reader could think that this is out of our subject. It is no so. When God brought Eve to Adam, He said:
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)(NASB)
Through this God does not want to say that children should neglect their parents or not to take care of them. But sine he got married, every man has to be conscious that the relationship with his wife is priority and he will not allow his parents to control this relation or to manipulate. Wise parents will never do this, but not all parents are so wise. I know someone who got married and let his mother hold the control to the point that she had the money and decided what clothes should his wife buy. The marriage didn’t last much, and he became very unhappy. I myself warned him that he would end so if he didn’t separate from his mother and joined to his wife. At the same time, every man has to be conscious that when he gets married, his duty is to provide for the family and to take care of his parents and his wife parents. And when parents give them some financial help, he should receive it as a blessing, not as a duty.
To be joined to his wife
The primary meaning of this commandment is about sexual relation whose initiator is the man. Let no one think that it is wrong for the woman to come with the initiative of having sexual relation. But every man should know that God wants him to have the initiative concerning building the relationship with his wife, and concerning all other life aspects. When there are difficult situations in family, it is the man who is expected to look for solutions, take attitude and act to solve these difficult situations.
To be transparent in the relationship with his wife
In the same second chapter of the book of Genesis, it is written:
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:25)(NASB)
The expression “were both naked” means more than lack of clothes. The man and the woman were sincere with one another, having a full transparency, so that none of them hides anything from the other one and has no fear to share his thoughts, thinking that he could be condemned.
To be the head of woman
I have already noticed, during a religious ceremony, how a man, when he heard that truth, jabbed his wife and said: “Are you attentive? Listen carefully to what the priest says!” At the same time, when I teach the course “Marriage without regrets” I often see women, who haven’t known the Word of God before, and when they read this truth they are unpleased. But, this is the order set by God:
But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:3)(NASB)
Christ is our Head who takes care of us, protects us and sacrificed Himself for us. In the same way, it is waited from every man to be the head of the wife and not one who only gives orders and imposes his will with authority. God help every man to behave with his wife, as the Lord Jesus behaves with us.
To show honor to his wife
It is difficult for some men to understand why women are waiting to be treated with respect, for example to take her hand when she gets off a bus or on stairs. But this is how the Bible teaches us to behave, when God says:
You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)(NASB)
God help all men to fulfill the role set by God and in this way, to show the character of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Translated by Felicia Djugostran