How can you not be sad when all people around you speak only of relationships and lovers? Why do we have to go through separation even if we think that he is the one?
I want to start with the text from the book of Proverbs:
Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)(NASB)
These words are written by king Solomon for his son and for other teenagers, but here Solomon also writes about the instruction he had received from his father, David. The instruction applies to us, too; otherwise, God would not allow this book to be in the Holy Scripture. It is inspired by God. So, he teaches us:
Be concerned about acquiring wisdom
Chapter four starts as it follows: Hear, o sons, the instructions; and the exact same thing applies to girls and daughters.
Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding, for I give you sound teaching; do not abandon my instruction. When I was a son to my father, tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, then he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live. Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding! Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her, and she will guard you; love her, and she will watch over you. (Proverbs 4:1-6)(NASB)
Don’t look at those who speak only of relationships and love. The fact that this is the most important concern for them shows you that they are spiritually immature. The Word of God shows you that your greatest concern must not be the things spoken by those around you. You must be concerned of acquiring wisdom. Make this be your greatest concern, the priority of your life. Begin and finish your day with it. Invest your time to acquire wisdom and understanding from God. Do not forsake this wisdom; love her, and she will watch over you.
Make the priority of your life to acquire wisdom
The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; and with all your acquiring, get understanding. Prize her, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. She will place on your head a garland of grace; she will present you with a crown of beauty. (Proverbs 4:7-9) (NASB)
Here, Solomon is making this promise to his son, who was expected to reign over Israel, but this applies to all of us. God prepared lots of blessings that He wants to give us. He will take care of other things if we make acquiring of wisdom the priority of our life.
Hear, my son, and accept my sayings and the years of your life will be many. I have directed you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in upright paths. When you walk, your steps will not be impeded; and if you run, you will not stumble. Take hold of instruction; do not let go. Guard her, for she is your life. (Proverbs 4:10-13)(NASB)
Until now, he said to make acquiring wisdom the priority of your life. Only by doing this will your heart always be happy, and you will make wise decisions. The fact that the teenagers speak only about relationships will not bother you; on the contrary you will start to speak to them only about the wisdom of God. Let them see in you a proper example, and they will want to follow it. Even more, God will draw a righteous man’s eyes toward you, when He sees that you have made acquiring of wisdom the priority in your life. It is a big probability that such a man will ask you to marry him.
Don’t let yourself be influenced by them
Immediately after this, Solomon says:
Do not enter the path of the wicked and do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it; turn away from it and pass on. (Proverbs 4:14-15) (NASB)
It is written about people who do evil. We can’t qualify those who talk about relationships and love as evil people. By no means do we want to think this about them. If they are concerned about this and talk only about the things of this earth, it demonstrates that they are immature. It is very important to understand this. Don’t waste your time in such discussions. Don’t let yourself be influenced by their immature discussions, but influence them. Make known to them the wisdom of God.
I want to recommend the inductive Bible study book “How to make choices you won’t regret”. By studying this book, you will be equipped to make choices that will bring honor to God and peace in your heart.
Watch over your heart with all diligence
Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)
Your life and passion will be focused on things from your heart. Let your mind be focused on God’s ministry, His wisdom, and the studying of the Holy Scriptures. Make the studying of the Scripture the passion of your life. I want to recommend you to study the book “Lord, teach me to study the Bible in 28 days” which will help you more deeply to know the truths given by God in the Scripture.
Flee from youthful lusts
In the 2nd epistle to Timothy, the apostle Paul writes:
Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:22) (NASB)
Another very important principle is how you choose your friends. Don’t stay in the company of those who speak only about relationships and are not interested in other spiritual things, their relationship with God, the things from above, the heavenly things and the holy things, if they are not interested in serving Christ, doing mission work, the preaching of the Gospel… If you spend time in the company of these people, obviously you will only hear such things. I urge you to flee from these things. Flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord with a pure heart. Look for people who have the ministry of the gospel in their heart and look for God within them. Call on Him with a pure heart and serve Him. Ask God to reveal what your spiritual gift is.
Do not envy and do not hold grudges when someone is in a relationship, because envy affects many people. Scripture teaches us not to envy anyone.
All things work together for good to those who love God
The other question you asked me is if we have to break up with the person you think is your chosen.
You think that boy is for you. God is the One who puts a girl and a boy together to form a family and makes a marriage covenant. Maybe you were not meant to be in a relationship with the boy if you broke up with him. You are affected now and you bear the consequences because you entered a relationship you didn’t have to.
However, we strongly trust in the Word of God.
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) (NASB)
Love God with all your heart and trust that all things work together for your good. If God allowed this relationship to be broken and removed that person from you and does not allow you to be with him, be assured that it is for your good. Turn your face towards God and believe He will give you all the blessings He prepared for you.
I want to remind you that the most important thing is to have a proper relationship with God. Look for Him with all your heart and build a nice relationship with Him. When you do so, God will take care of all the other things in your life.
You can follow the answer in this video published on Facebook in Romanian:
Read this article in Romanian.
Translated by Liza Birladeanu.