Is it right to pray for the guy you want to marry?

Question:

It is normal for the girl to pray for marriage to a specific person? Many guys make overtures to me and I am tired when I see someone that pays much attention to me, having sinful intentions, it irritates me and I would like very much to marry. But when you are in this situation, it is also very difficult to pray for someone whom you do not know. These days I met a person who has the qualities that I ask from God for my future husband. And then appeared the question whether I can pray to God for him? Will it be right in God’s eyes? I did not fall in love but I feel a desire to know him more. All I know about him is that we have common hobbies, but most importantly, he loves children and the mission and is romantic as I always prayed for my future husband. He is a student in another country and I do not know why, the Lord had put that desire into my heart to go to college in the city where he learns, even before I met him. I do not know what to do. How can I know what God will is in this situation.

Why do you want to marry?

Neither tiredness of the guys’ advances not irritation at those who pay attention to you with sinful reasons are reasons to marry. If you get married only for these reasons, you have chances to become the most unhappy woman because of your marriage.

Pray according to God’s Word

God listens to our prayers when they are according to His will. When He was talking about the fruits that we can bring as children of God, the Lord Jesus said:

If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. (John 15:7)(NASB)

What is God’s will for virgins?

In the first Epistle of Paul to Corinthians, God says this:

Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better. (1 Corinthians 7:25-38)(NASB)

I deliberately emphasized the important truths in this biblical passage that I wish to address further.

It’s good to stay as you are

That is unmarried. This does not mean that you will never marry, or that God is against marriage. He is the author of marriage and the one who created the first woman and brought her to her husband when he was not even aware that he needed her and never knew what marriage is.So now, God is the one who gives man and woman love for each other and joins them in marriage. He will pour love for you into the heart of a man who will propose you and you will accept him because you love him. See not to hurry through your actions and thoughts and in this way to have worries and sufferings that you should not have. It is better now to stay as you are and put your full faith in God who said:

The hope of the righteous is gladness, but the expectation of the wicked perishes. (Proverbs 10:28)(NASB)

Don’t worry and do not create barriers

God does not forbid you to pray for your future spouse, but the fact that you want to pray specifically for a boy who has not yet asked you to marry him, shows that you already have begun to think more about him and that thought has become a care that you should not have. Allow the Lord to take care of this need of yours and to fulfill it, and you care about the things of God to be holy in body and in spirit, as described in the biblical text of 1 Corinthians 7.Do not let these thoughts for marriage start to obsess you and become a barrier that will steal your passion and dedication that you have in the service of God.

Accept God’s will

There are things that we want so much and we can start to pray continually for them just because we want them so much. But is this not a non-acceptance of God’s will for us? Be sure not to try in this way to put pressure on God to do what you want. Even if it does not relate to the subject of marriage, the verse I refer shows well the truth I want to communicate to you.

When he writes about the discoveries he has received from God, the Apostle Paul says:

Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me–to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness ” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)(NASB)

You see, apostle Paul says he asked the Lord three times to take this thorn, but when God told him clearly what his will is, he accepted it with joy and didn’t insist anymore in prayers.

I understand that you have already prayed for this boy. Now, you have also seen what is God’s will for you, not to worry regarding your marriage, but to take care to be holy in body and spirit. Accept this will and be glad in the grace of God that is sufficient for us all. Glorified be His name.

Translated by Felicia Rotaru