Question:
I don’t know how to proceed in Christian way. It is not Christian to sue anyone, or ask for money for children from a divorced husband, which is a legal procedure. It isn’t Christian, because he is poorer than I am, having debts to the banks. But he is the father of the children and has debts to them, and their education could be improved if I did this court proceeding. The children are already adults, but they are studying. They would have to initiate the procedure in their own name, but that seems completely immoral to me: the son to judge the father. The authorities advised me to make a power of attorney for me to do the procedure, so that it would be one for all the children – and so I do not know if it is a sin or not, if I request the procedure for their benefit.
I assume that you are thinking about the next passage in the Bible when you have doubts if it is right to sue your ex-husband for the financial support he owes to the children:
Does any one of you, when he has a case against his neighbor, dare to go to law before the unrighteous and not before the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? If the world is judged by you, are you not competent to constitute the smallest law courts? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more matters of this life? So if you have law courts dealing with matters of this life, do you appoint them as judges who are of no account in the church? I say this to your shame. Is it so, that there is not among you one wise man who will be able to decide between his brethren, but brother goes to law with brother, and that before unbelievers? Actually, then, it is already a defeat for you, that you have lawsuits with one another. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded? On the contrary, you yourselves are wrong and defraud. You do this even to your brethren. Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. (1Corinthians 6:1-10 NASB)
The text refers to at least two Christians who have misunderstandings with each other and who could have resolved their conflicts within the church, but had their Christian name mocked by going before the civil court.
As for the situation in your family, being divorced, you have already gone to court at least once, because otherwise you could not register a divorce. Once you are divorced, the husband has obligations to support his children and as I see it, he does not honor these obligations. The fact that he has debts to the banks does not relieve him of his parental debt. And then, I hope this is not the case, but it is well known that “debt” is one of the thousands of excuses of those who evade responsibilities. I don’t know how he fulfilled his responsibility to support the children since the divorce, but if he has always shied away from this responsibility, then obviously you have to bring the case back to court where he will be forced to do his duty as a parent to his children.
Translated by Olya Trikolich