How to survive without parents? (7 tips)

Vasile Filat la moartea mamei lui

It’s awful the number of orphan children that are nowadays, most of them having living parents who have gone abroad to work. A child who learns in the same class with our son, has not yet seen his mother and he does not know how she looks like in reality, because after his birth she went to Italy and she has not yet come to see him. These children, in my opinion, are in a worse condition than those at the orphanage, because often there is no one to take care of them. While talking with my sister, she said that at the moment there were as many orphans as they had been after a  war, but it was even worse, because then people had adopted the orphans, but at the moment they wanted neither to adopt nor to help, but maliciously said “What, I am not going to help the child of someone who earns money abroad …” I have written this article for all these children without parents to give them seven important tips that will be helpful to be able to survive in the complicated world in which we live. I was an orphan too, so I consider myself a specialist in the field. Now however, I want to tell you the tips that come from God’s Word.

1. Do not lose hope

After the death of my mother, I was only 9 years and I could not see any future. My sister Lenuta, who was 15 years old, was often crying in pillows, I came near her and together we could cry for hours, because we did not see any future and we had no hope. Lidia, who was 17 years and who had all responsibility for us, sought to encourage us to look ahead and not lose hope. How much good it would have been for us if we had known the profound truth from the Bible, that says:

Sing to God, sing praises to His name; lift up a song for Him who rides through the deserts, whose name is the LORD, and exult before Him. A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, is God in His holy habitation. God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, only the rebellious dwell in a parched land. (Psalm 68:4-6)(NASB)

2. Listen to good mentors

All people need mentors who can help and advise them to choose the right directions in life and make right choices. Moreover the orphan needs a good mentor. Esther was born while her parents were in Babylonian slavery and she remained orphan. She was grown up by her relative Mordecai and after she became the queen, she kept the same beautiful attitude towards her good mentor, as the Scripture says:

Esther had not yet made known her kindred or her people, even as Mordecai had commanded her; for Esther did what Mordecai told her as she had done when under his care.(Esther 2:20)(NASB)

3. Beware of evil men

Orphans, widows and strangers have always been the target of abuse for evil ones. Beware of the people that can do evil to you and pray continuously that God may guard you, as king David also prayed:

Rescue me, O LORD, from evil men; preserve me from violent men who devise evil things in their hearts; they continually stir up wars. They sharpen their tongues as a serpent; poison of a viper is under their lips. Selah. Keep me, O LORD, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from violent men who have purposed to trip up my feet. The proud have hidden a trap for me, and cords; they have spread a net by the wayside; they have set snares for me. Selah. (Psalm 140:1-5)(NASB)

4. Do not go bad ways

In the world there are bad things and places where you should never go. Therefore, avoid places where some go to drink, to take drugs, to do immoral things or to look pornography, as the Holy Scripture says:

Do not enter the path of the wicked and do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it; turn away from it and pass on. (Proverbs 4:14-15)(NASB)

5. Avoid bad friends

A proverb says: “Tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are.” This is because friends can influence you enormously and very quickly you will begin to think, to talk and act like them. Therefore, stay away from anyone who wants to be your friend but is bad or does bad things. Keep in mind the words of the Scripture which say:

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. (Proverbs 13:20)(NASB)

6. Get ready to have a family

More than once I got to talk to men who were more than 20 years old, complaining that they have nothing, they are orphans and they always look to live at other’s expense. This attitude is very bad and harmful, it destroys the lives of these men and makes them live in disorder. Do not be like one of them. It doesn’t matter how old you are, do your utmost to learn and to work. Develop your ability to work, that you may maintain yourself and then to be able to create a family and to care for them. Do not talk too much, but seek to work, because:

In all labor there is profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. (Proverbs 14:23)(NASB)

7. Help your brothers and sisters

If you have brothers and sisters, do everything you can to help him. I have written above how my sister who was 17 years old assumed responsibility to grow up us and made it with much sacrifice and love.

About two years ago a girl who is 13 years old began to come every Saturday and Sunday on our street. She comes to beg from people to be able to maintain her three younger brothers who stay at home. Their father died and their mother is a drunkard and doesn’t take care of them. Sometimes she can go for weeks and nobody knows where their mother is. But the girl, who is in a worse state than the children from the orphanage, takes care of her younger brothers and she goes to beg for them. God says in the Bible:

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8)(NASB)

And for all Christians, God says:

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. (James 1:27)(NASB)

Are you an orphan? Do you know any orphan? What do they do or what have you done to survive? How can you help the orphans to survive and overcome difficulties through which they pass?

Translated by Felicia Rotaru