How to proceed when the husband refuses to perform the religious marriage?


Peace, brother pastor. I am married only at the town hall to my husband, and for a long time I have insisted on going to the pastor to have our spiritual wedding. We are both baptized but only I am still on this path. What can I do, Brother Pastor? I asked for the Lord’s blessing at home, but what do you say, is that enough? I keep arguing with my husband and he always says that if it doesn’t suit me, the door is open. We live with his whole family and he always cares about them, but me – no.

Dear sister, I suppose you were motivated to write me this message that you do not have a religious wedding because this makes you believe that the relationship with your husband is not recognized before God if you only have a civil marriage. Don’t think like that anymore. Please read carefully on the website the article “Is it fornication to live in a civil marriage without a religious marriage?”

It would be good to have a religious wedding, but if your husband refuses, do not bother him and insist on it. If he behaves in this way and rejects any invitation, apply the words of the apostle Peter, namely:

In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives,  as they observe your pure and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely the external—braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.  For in this way the holy women of former times, who hoped in God, also used to adorn themselves, being subject to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; and you have proved to be her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. (1 Peter 3:1-6 NASB)

If you haven’t studied it yet, I recommend you get the course “How To Have A Marriage That Really Works” by Kay Arthur and study it. On YouTube you will also find videos of this course taught by me and they will help you to study more easily.

Do not quarrel with his relatives, nor seek for him to take your side. Seek to build beautiful relationships with all and tell them about the Lord Jesus Christ and eternal life, so that they may all be saved.

Translated by Didina Vicliuc