How to maintain and to build the relation with your parents?

I have received this question from the students of the Pedagogical College “Alexei Mateevici” from Chisinau, too. It is a wise question and, if it has already  been asked, then it shows the care for the parents. Being a student, a lot of changes have come in your life. Now your are far away from your parents and it is important to learn how to maintain nice relations with them further on.

Call your parents up

It is difficult not only for you to get used to live without your parents, for them is more difficult to do this. If you was the last child and you left the house, then they are especially having a more difficult crisis than you do. That’s why, it will mean much to them if you call them up daily to talk to them. Don’t save money on this calls since they are very important. And also learn not to save money on the relations from your life, that have to be maintained and built up. In fact, the most wise invested money is that invested in building relations. That’s why, call your parents up and don’t forget what one of the ten commandments of God says:

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you. (Exodus 20:12)(NASB)

When you call them up, take interest in them, ask them how they are, how they manage their work and if they need your help, according to what you can do.

Share your success with them

Usually, every student calls his parents up when he is in troubles and has problems, but less when he achieves success. I advise you, firstly call your parents up every time you achieve success and share it with them. If you have a high grade, call up your parents to tell them your grade. If you have received one’s appreciation, call them up again. Every thing that you think will make your parents rejoice, share them when you call them up. Here is what the Word of God says regarding to this:

The heart of the wise instructs his mouth and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Proverbs 0f Solomon  16:23–24)(NASB)

Do so, that every discussion with your parents may be sweet to their soul and bring them health.

Share the problems positively

When you have some problems, it is important to tell them to your parents and to ask for their advice, but do it wisely. Think well before you call them up and say the things positively, so that you may not hurt their heart. Let us say that you have some problems with some of you colleagues or with some of your teachers. Call your parents up since you saw that the problems have begun and ask for their advice.

Ask money no more than is necesarry

it is normal to face a lot of problems at school if you are a student. But, every time you ask for your parents help, think how much your studies cost them. Don’t be defended by the flesh desire, so that you will find the best and the most expensive things. It is normal to need a cellphone. But don’t do out of it a way to distingish yourself among your colleagues and have the best and the most performant phone. Buy one so that you may ring up (and this offers the cheapest phone) and not the most performant. I know a student whose mother was working in an end of the world and the father in another one. He was waiting for money from both of them. He was already at the age whan he had to start to help them, but he didn’t. He convinced his parents that he “needs so much” the most performant cellphone and he bought one extremely expensive. This is lack of respect and appreciation for his parents’ efforts and care. So, be wise and ask money from your parents only for the most necesarry things. The same things can be applied to clothes too. Don’t buy the most expensive clothes, but choose those that will not make your parents carry a too heavy burden.

Don’t go home empty-handed

Do you remember the last time how you came home with your bag filled up? Your parents accompanied you this way because they love you. It may happen not to be this way, thouh these cases are very seldom, nevertheless, they are. I ask you this because I wanted to show you how your parents take care of you. Learn for yourself to show this care too and never go home empty-handed. This means more than fulfilling some material needs, it is an act when you can show respect and gratitude. Before you go home, think what would your father like. For sure you know what would he like. Let us say that it is a certain meal that he likes the most. Do you know how much will he rejoice of it and especially because you have bought it and it is an expression of your love? Do you remember how much joy you had in your childhood when he was bringing you candies and sweets in the evenings? Now it’s your turn to show gratitude and respect. And then, even God, who has all things abundantly, said to His people:

You shall observe the Feast of Unleavened Bread; for seven days you are to eat unleavened bread, as I commanded you, at the appointed time in the month Abib, for in it you came out of Egypt; and none shall appear before Me empty-handed. (Exodus 23:15)(NASB)

Take care to have a good heart and put aside a sufficient part of all blessings that you receive and show gratitude to your parents and to God.

Find a place to work

Find a place to work, so that you could earn a little money, and contribute to the effort your parents make to be able to meet the expenses. You can’t imagine how much joy your parents will have. They will see that you feel with them and that you will take care of their needs in future, when they will be old. Don’t say you can’t find a work. Go today and look for it. If you are a guy, you can work as a porter for some hours in a day and you will earn money every time. If you are a girl, you can go somewhere to clean up, maybe in your school. You can go to share advertising leaflets and you will surely earn a little money. If you search, you will surely find a place to work.

Send letters and poscards

Christmas – the holiday of Our Lord Jesus Christ’s Birth is close now. Buy a beautiful postcard and send it to your parents. You can also buy sufficient postcards to send them to your relatives, but especially to all your teachers, to the people that have invested in the growth of your character.

Never talk arrogantly

I suppose you have observed how some of your colleagues speak arrogantly regarding to their parents and they talk in the same way with their parents. Don’t folow their example, you’d better reprove them and tell them how ugly this thing is seen from aside.

Tomorrow I want to publish an article where I want to touch some great confusions that some Christians have in regards to making disciples. I invite you to read the article tomorrow. Also tomorrow there will be published Ziarul Liber (Free Paper), where I wrote what happend after my mother’s death.

Translated by Djugostran Felicia