Some time ago I received an e-mail, where I was asked:
Once, I have listened to a broadcast on Univers FM radio station and you spoke about young people before marriage. I was a little shocked to find out that it is not good for young people to date before marriage. How, then will they know each other? I think that this thing it is important before marriage too.
That broadcast included articles I have posted on this portal about young people and you can read them here. I presented in those articles the definiton of those datings that are not good for young people before marriage. Here is my answer to the question I have been asked, So, how will young people know each other if they don’t accept datings before marriage?
One can not completely find out a person’s character on datings
Especially when a girl or a guy wants to please an opposite sex person, he/she will do the utmost to show only the good qualities of the character, or will try to present qualities that he/she doesn’t even have and in this way he/she will mislead that person. I have met for so many times people who come to ask for counseling when they have family problems, and they say: “I have never imagined that my husband has such treats of character or that he can behave the way he behaves himself now. He was the most tender and attentive guy until marriage. Why isn’t he the same person now?” The answer is simple – because he has never been the way he showed himself he was. When he had done so, he wanted to impress you and to present you qualities that you would have liked him to have, but he had never really had them. Only when you will marry that person you will be able to see his/her real face. In fact, you can see it now too, if you don’t accept to go on dates, because…
The beautiful character of a person can not be put into shade
If you are such a person, you will be noticed by the person who wants to enter the covenant of marriage with you. This beauty of your character will be seen by the way you report to others, to those who can not give you something in return, to those you do not want to impress, but to help and serve. You can not be an actor with all people to show other qualities than those you have. That’s why, set store on people with beautiful characters. Your character will also be noticed by others, as you are ready to serve and you serve people. That’s why,
Take care of the things of God
Apostle Paul wrote in the Ist Epistle to Corinthians so:
The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit (1 Corinthians 7:34)(NASB)
And then, when he proves why it is good for young people not to put priority on the problem and the need of marriage, he says:
This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:35)(NASB)
The things of the Lord that you do will prove the beauty of your character and you will not be put into shade, you will be noticed by the man who sets store on your character and you will be proposed marriage.
May God bless you with wisdom to understand these truths and to trust His will, because “the hope of the righteous is gladness, but the expectation of the wicked perishes”. (Proverbs 10:28)
I invite all those who are married and didn’t accept to go on dates, to write their testimonies how they came to know each other. This will help readers a lot. I thank you in advance for your commentaries!
Translated by Felicia Djugostran