Dating and successful marriage (part 1)

There are some things in people’s life that intercede it and step by step become usual even if they are not always correct. One of these things is dating between girls and boys. Did it shock you? Have little patience to read this article up to the end and then you will draw the conclusion if I am right or not. You can send your conclusion or questions to the email: vasile.filat@gmail.com

Definition “Dating”

Before I present the arguments, it is important to define the term “dating”. In this article, the term “dating” reffers to the time when a young man and a young woman, a man and a woman, choose to meet separately systematically, having talks and an intensive communication to spend time together, having the purpose to know each other better. For many times, these datings are accompanied by touches, kisses and sometimes datings can extend for years. Datings have an intimate character, this means that the man and the woman, the guy and the girl prefer to be only they two, separated of the rest of the world. Datings are more than just a simple friendship because it implies very strong feelings, hopes and a great will to be close to the other person. The term “dating” from this article doesn’t refer to the time that the boys and girls spend in the same group of people, such as the same school, the same class, group at the University, the same church, the same working place or some other event where many people are met.

Why do you have to avoid datings?

Let us look at the reasons and arguments that will show us why it is right for young people to avoid dating and why this will insure them of a happy and  fulfilled marriage.

1.Datings don’t have a biblical reliance

How strange it may seem, but datings don’t have any biblical reliance. I haven’t found in the Bible passages that would tell a man or a woman to have a specific period with the future wife or husband, when they would know better each other etc. People speak in this way, but it doesn’t have a biblical reliance and how we will see further, it doesn’t bring any positive result in the context of knowing better the other person.

2.Datings arouse feelings and passions that can be fulfilled correctly only in marriage

One of the  repeated key-phrase in the Book Song of Songs from the Bible says:“I want you to swear, O daughters of Jerusalem, do not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases.” (Song of Songs 8:4) Even the special feelings that you have for an opposite sex person will motive you to initiate datings and to spend time together. These feelings will not content only with this and if you are a healthy man or woman, you will want touches and kisses. All these will only intensify your unfulfillment and you will burn in your passion to have sexual relations with that person. If you pretend to be an upright man or woman, fearing God, then you will not commit adultery. Still, this condition when you are under a pression of a strong sexual passion it is not comfortable and it is not good to find yourself in such a condition. Systematic datings arouse and entertain this condition.

3.Datings produce worries and anxiety

In the first Epistle to Corinthians, Paul wrote: “But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord.  But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:32–33) Paul doesn’t mean here to that of being affectionate and fulfilling the needs of your partner when you are married, but to the exaggeration that people show and to a selfish desire to please the other, also with personal intersts, to receive more from him. That’s why, above, in the passage the author said that “those who have wives should be as though they had none”, meaning to remain fully dedicated to the Lord and to behave wisely with the wife. If you look around attentively, you will see that the boys as the girls, since they start going to datings they want to call another person’s attention, begin to do everything to please that person. These are great worries, but they are not pleasing to God. He wants us to live cleanly and transparently before Him and before people. At the same time when two start dating, there appear some conflicts, misunderstandings and this paralizes both of them or at least one of them, so that he/she is not able to do away with other responsabilities, such as preaching the Gospel, school, work, etc. (follow-on)

Translated by Djugostran Felicia