I received this message from a young Christian man, a reader of this portal. I chose to answer him through an article, because I thought that there are many young people who face this situation after they understand that dating is not a good and biblical thing.
I read your article concerning dating I liked it a lot, but after I finished to read it I thought about me and at the situation I face and the problem I struggle with. I have a girlfriend and we have been dating for 3 years, we want to marry, but I think to do this after I graduate the University (I graduate it now). But it is much time to wait. I see that we came to a situation that neither she or me can live without talking or meeting. We think about each other continually and we want to see each other and talk a lot on the phone. I thought for many times that a long-termed relation is not so good and I want to stop these datings until marriage, because it is much to wait and I make her and me suffer. But I do not know how to do this. Can you advise me how to act that she may understand me? What shall we do? I am very troubled and we do not know ho to go on and how to act. Here we stopped. I feel that it is not right what we are doing, but how can we solve this situation?
This is evident and you yourself understood it, that’s why, I don’t want to talk much on this subject. Let us go to the next thing that I consider that the guy who asked me this question has to do.
Propose marriage to this girl
I understood from your message that you are absolutely convinced that this is the girl who is going to be your wife. It were wise if you had thought that you had to finish the University before you initiated any relation, as God says in the Holy Scriptures:
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, that you do not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases. (Songs of Solomon 2:7)(NASB)
But, being aware that you haven’t known this before and you understood it now, it is the exact moment to propose marriage to this girl, because you arouse and fed her heart with love for you and with the desire to marry you. If you do not propose marriage to her now and if you stop datings, you will bring a lot of pain and desperation in her heart, and if you love her, I don’t think you want to do this to her.
But, anyway, the situation you face now, with or without datings will make each of you suffer, you will think continually at each other and no one will be able to concentrate on studies and to fulfill your responsibilities, for example you have to finish the University. That’s why, make a good plan how to propose marriage in a beautiful way, how to plan your wedding and where to live together after you marry.
Be reasonable while planning the wedding
Every girl and boy wants to have the most beautiful wedding. Because of this, many avoid to propose marriage because they think they don’t have enough money to organize the wedding. We, Moldavians have a good proverb, that can be applied to this situation too: “Stretch your legs according to your coverlet”. Advise with your parents and plan your wedding according to the possibilities you have, but do not let this event of the wedding be an obstacle in your relation or one that will break the relations, after it takes place.
Translated by Felicia Djugostran