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Question:
I come from a disorganized family where I never felt loved or appreciated. I got married very young and had a baby. But being both very young, we did not know how to live as a family, and soon we divorced. My husband remarried immediately. After the divorce, I tried to fill the gap left by him in unsuitable short relationships. At the age of 29, I returned to the Lord, I was baptized, and began a new life. I wanted to have a normal family, have a father for my child, and a husband for me. I wanted too much and I did not have the patience to receive it from the Lord. So, after a prophecy, I married a divorced man who said that he was a Christian. I discovered after the marriage that he was a man with serious psychological problems, which he had camouflaged very well and, being a religious fanatic, said to me, ” If you do not repent willingly, you will repent with the fist.” There were 15 years of great trouble for me. I gave birth to four more children, while beating and insulting, dirty words and obscene gestures were never absent from the house. I grew spiritually weakened more and more, and in the end I fell into sin and I am painfully saying this. I divorced a second time. For almost 10 years I have been alone, I confessed my sins, raised my children with the help of the Lord, I am in the church congregation, but loneliness is drying me up. All my life I was like a toy: used and then thrown away. I wanted a husband and a family and I do not have them! With my ex-husband there is no way of understanding! What should I do? I feel like I’m in the wilderness! I desperately pray for the Lord to keep me from another fall! I need a husband, is it possible? I shortened my story as much as possible! Thanks for your advice and help!
I was grieved, dear sister in Christ, to receive this message and find out how you went through two marriages that were ruined and brought you only wounds and pain. The lack of knowledge of the will of God led to the ruin of the first marriage, and with sorrow and grief I have to say to you that the same reason has remained in the case of the second marriage, because you have taken the wrong teaching and instead of learning to know God’s will from His Word, you have become the victim of the charlatans who pretend to be prophets and destroy so many lives, and behold, they have succeeded in bringing you to another cause of painful divorce.
About a New Marriage …Cu privire la o nouă căsătorie…
I can not tell you more than the words of Jesus, who said:
He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:11-12) (NASB)
And the apostle Paul thus said that you took the initiative to divorce your second husband:
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10–11) (NASB)
So, with regard to marriage, you have two options: 1) to reconcile with your husband or 2) to remain unmarried. From what you have written to me, it seems that of these two options you would prefer to remain unmarried. But…
How can you no longer be alone?
Think of others and start serving the church with the spiritual gifts you have. Look at the needs of others and go to meet their needs. This is the thought of Christ that truly makes us happy, for our Lord has said that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Look at those who are alone and abandoned and go to serve them. See who the elderly are, abandoned children or those who have parents, but are in worse conditions than those at the orphanage. Look around at the needs of people and go to serve them in the love of Christ. Then you will find joy and delight in Christ. Start studying the Bible and keep watch in prayer. Not marriage or celibacy, but the knowledge of the Holy Scriptures applied in everyday life makes a spiritual and strong Christian. The man or woman who has not learned to find fulfillment and peace in Christ will not find them in marriage, even if they will have as a partner the most spiritual person.
I advise you to take the inductive bible study course of Second Timothy and study it carefully, for you will take much instruction that will bring peace, joy, and security to your heart. The apostle Paul wrote this last epistle when he was in the prison in Rome, deserted by most and yet hopeful, for he was waiting to meet Christ and he was thinking of others, to serve others. Day and night praying for Timothy and for other disciples, writing and sending epistles to build others in the faith and using every opportunity to tell people about Christ, even when brought to judgment, he was thinking of those who were condemning him and was preaching the Gospel to them. Learn from him and follow his example, seeking to find your delight in Christ. Do not let yourself be led again by the flesh, so that you will not experience more disappointment and loneliness than you have now. Think well of these words in the Holy Scriptures:
For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority. (Colossians 2:9–10) (NASB)
Translated by Aliona Soltan