In almost every village in Moldova, if you go to ask, you will find that a lot of women have gone to work in Italy, or Moscow, or other countries, and the men have stayed home to take care of the children. Why does this phenomenon happen? In this article I want to present the reasons most often invoked by women or their husbands and to make an analysis of these reasons from the point of view of the Holy Scriptures. So what are the reasons for the mass departure of Moldovan women to work abroad?
1. Material deficiencies
Material needs require them to leave their families and look for work abroad, say most women and men. From what I have personally noticed, women who have a good financial condition often go abroad to work. In fact, those who do not have this material condition sufficient to lead a decent life here, neither have nor find so easily the money needed to leave. This argument of material deprivation does not justify leaving the family. Our parents and grandparents lived in much, much harder times than we live. They suffered and faced much greater shortcomings. However, they did not leave their families but sought at all costs to stay with the family or take the family with them if they had to leave. I know a family in which the husband was deported to Siberia and the wife with the children in Kazakhstan. After much effort, the husband found out where his wife and children were and went to them, hiding under a train car to pick them up and bring them to where he was and so that they could all be together. Do you see how important it was for these people to have their whole family together? Today, however, it seems that both men and women call “material deficiencies” what the Bible calls “love of money.”
2. The desire to become rich
This is the real motivation that drives most people to leave their families, wives, husbands and children and go abroad in search of work. This love of money is passed on to people at all levels, because everywhere they talk only of material prosperity. Only material prosperity is talked about on television, radio and in newspapers. Children at school talk the most about whose computer or cell phone is better. Men compete with cars and other material things. It is true that we need many of these things, but the fact that they have become a priority is a great evil and people have been caught in this trap for the love of money. They want to go abroad to make a lot of money and make it fast. Here is what God says about this wrong attitude toward money and the importance of being content with your material condition.
But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it, either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap, and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. (1 Timothy 6:6-10 NASB)
The biblical passage above shows some serious consequences that will be suffered by those who are brought down by the love of money and the desire to get rich. I will not stop now to analyze these consequences because I intend to write an article in which I will only address the consequences of Moldovan women going to work abroad.
Men send their wives
This was unimaginable in another time, 20 years ago. No such thought could cross a man’s mind, and no one would ever agree to send his wife from home. Now, this desire to get rich and the love of money, which is the root of all evil, has affected the thinking of men to the point that they agree to send their wives alone to work abroad. The material maintenance of his family is the duty of every man, and God says in the Holy Scriptures:
But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8 NASB)
Men who send their wives to work abroad and do not take care of the material needs of their wives and children disturb their own families. And the Bible says:
One who troubles his own house will inherit wind, and the foolish will be servant to the wise-hearted. (Proverbs 11:29 NASB)
4. There are no jobs in the country
This is another reason given by women who go abroad for gain. It is true that there are not enough jobs and that they are poorly paid, but it is not impossible to find a job. On the other hand, I have noticed that there are very few trustworthy people and the leaders who hire people to work, sometimes search for months until they find a reliable security guard, not to mention other responsibilities. People want to get rich quick and that prevents them from learning a profession, from becoming trustworthy people. God says:
Do not weary yourself to gain wealth; stop dwelling on it. When you set your eyes on it, it is gone. For wealth certainly makes itself wings like an eagle that flies toward the heavens. (Proverbs 23:4-5 NASB)
It is better to make an effort to learn a good profession and thus be able to serve people. And a good profession will provide you with a sufficient material condition in the future so that you can support your family and not have to go abroad. Have the patience to learn a profession because…
Do you see a person skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure people. (Proverbs 22:29 NASB)
5. Let’s secure the children’s future
Right now, recently, I have witnessed and still see such a situation. The mother was raising her son alone, because the father had left her. The woman made every effort to educate the boy, and when he reached the age of adolescence, she went abroad to earn money and send her boy to college. He was a good child, and he and his mother managed materially. Immediately after she left, her mother sent him money and the boy bought a computer and an internet connection. Now, he lives alone in the apartment, he doesn’t come to church anymore and when one of his friends went to visit him, the house smelled of cigarette smoke, it was dirty, the dishes were unwashed etc. All these show that the boy has already been affected by internet addiction, which is a disease that destroys the man’s will first and then destroys his mental and physical health. How else will he benefit now from the money his mother went to make for him? Her son has taken a bad turn, and if the mother does not return as soon as possible, she may not be able to restore her son. If his will was badly affected, there was not much time left until he started using drugs. Adolescents like him, abandoned by their parents, are the target of drug dealers. And if he stays at the computer day and night, we can certainly believe that he has been badly affected by pornography on the Internet. This teenager will embark on the path of immorality and if he ever marries, he will not be able to maintain and build a beautiful relationship with his wife, because he will force her to do the perversions he now looks at on the Internet. How wrong the mother of this boy is… And I am most disappointed when I know that the woman I am writing about knows well the following passage from the Holy Scriptures:
These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. And you shall repeat them diligently to your sons and speak of them when you sit in your house, when you walk on the road, when you lie down, and when you get up. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NASB)
This is the greatest need of that woman’s son, to be taught the Word of God and thus to pass on to him the values that can make him happy in life. But now, the moral fall of the son will bring much, much pain to the woman.
5. The family is no longer valuable
This is a sad but true reason for many to go abroad. They find no fulfillment in building relationships with their family members. This materialistic thinking, which is spreading through all channels and at all levels, has affected and is affecting people to the core. Many women and many men think about what is good for them, and not how to serve their family members. It is convenient for the man to send his wife to work abroad to be materially supported by her. His wife likes to go “to work” but more to get rid of family worries. Both men and women have come to take divorce lightly, many families where one spouse has gone are divorced. And if they don’t divorce, when their wife or husband returns home, they can’t have a relationship and they can’t establish any kind of communication. Was it worth paying such a price for the wealth earned abroad?
7. Running away from family misunderstandings
I know someone whose father, coming home from work in Russia, beat his mother from the very first night, unjustly accusing her of infidelity. When my friend found out, he went home and took his mother to live with him for a while, so as to alleviate the conflict but also for his father to understand that he could not go on like this, and that he had to change his attitude. After several days, the father called, apologized and called his wife to come home, assuring her that his abusive behavior would not be repeated.
But because he is not a man of integrity and does not keep his word, in a very short time he beat his wife again. The son was forced to send his mother abroad to work in order to protect her from the systematic torture to which she is exposed by her husband. Women who are in such situations must think carefully about their decisions and think about the fate of their children.
If you are one of the women who are abroad at work, how justified is your presence there? What were the real reasons that made you leave your family?
If you are a man whose wife is abroad, think about what is wrong with your attitude and behavior. What can you do to bring your wife back home and give her a beautiful family life?
If you are a child whose mother is abroad at work, give her a phone call right now or write her a letter to tell her what it means for you to be there and how much you need her to return home.
Translated by Ina Croitoru