What to do when your parents argue all day?

Question:

I got a big problem: my parents argue all day and I pray to God continually, but I get no response from Him. What can I do? Effectively, I am very desperate and I feel exhausted. I hope you can help me.

This situation is common in many families and it creates an atmosphere of pressure not only for parents who are fighting, but also for their children and for everyone who lives in that family. It’s good that you systematically pray for the cease of strife and for peace.

I do not know how much children may be able to resolve this situation, but they can do something, too. But they shall not forget, however, that there are situations that nobody can do anything to solve them, as written in Scripture:

When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, the foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest – (Proverbs 29:9)(NASB)

I pray that it is not the same with the situation in your home, but one thing is clear, that a wise man, since he understands this, will cease to quarrel the other one, because there is no result and no chance to make peace.

Since you’re a child, one of your parents may feel ignored by your intervention in their quarrel. Be very careful how you intervene and do it only when you are sure that you can contribute to the cease and not to a greater ignition of conflict. Do not forget that …

Like one who takes a dog by the ears is he who passes by and meddles with strife not belonging to him. (Proverbs 26:17)(NASB)

If you want to solve the quarrel, try to do it without strife. If you begin arguing, you will only add more misunderstanding and the strife will increase.

Do not go out hastily to argue your case; otherwise, what will you do in the end, when your neighbor humiliates you? – (Proverbs 25:8)(NASB)

Maybe it’s better to talk gently with each of your parents, when the other one is not there and does not see this. Tell each of them how much you, as a child, are bothered by their arguments and how much you and other children want peace to be between them. If you speak wisely, you can have a positive result. Help each of your parents to understand that because of frequent quarrels you can not enjoy other beautiful things that they do for you, because …

Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it than a house full of feasting with strife – (Proverbs 17:1)(NASB)

God help you and give you wisdom what to do in your situation.

Translated by Felicia Rotaru