It is well known that children sometimes behave cruelly towards other children and especially in our century when they are bombarded with movies and games which lead to violence. Moreover, it sometimes happens for almost every parent that his child is beaten by his classmates. How is it correct to proceed in such situations to do good to your child and to those who used violence to him?
1. Do not be careless
When your child says that he was beaten by his classmates, or he comes at home with wounds which show that he was resorted to violence, it is important to find out what has happened and to listen to the child carefully. It is true that this may be a trivial gamboling that happen to children, or maybe he played and was hit and received a bruise, but it is important to be sure that the reason is not something more serious. If the child is systematically resorted to violence at school and we do not take it seriously, it can happen that both the physical and mental health of the child will be affected. Therefore, we should not be careless. But, let us not go to another extreme.
2. Take your time to interfere directly to solve the conflict
Some parents behave more childish than their children and as they hear that their daughter or son was beaten, they do not even ask anything, but the next day go to school mad with rage to revenge themselves on those who had dared to touch their “darling”. It is a great mistake and this act will bring more contempt and derision at the child of parents who do so. I remember, as a child from our class was the son of a teacher. He had the great blemish to act and speak disdainfully at colleagues, so it was not surprising that he peeved his peers and was beaten some times. Then, he quickly ran to his mother who came and beat the guilty child in front of all of us. This gave rise to an unthinkable contempt of the entire class for the one who complained to the mother. He, however, did not cease to act and speak mockingly. Therefore, the remaining classmates quickly found the solution. There was a dark corridor where we had to go when we went to the math lesson. Many times it happened that someone was spying the mocking colleague there and was beating him, so that he had to complain and whine all the remaining lessons. But, he could not go to complain to his mother, because he did not know who put an end to the bad words he was telling. Therefore, if your child is telling you that he has been resorted to violence, do not hurry to interfere directly, but …
3. Teach the child how to resolve conflict
This is the biggest help and lesson that you can give your child. To spend time with him, help him understand what has happened, what are the causes, which is his fault and how he can resolve the conflict by himself. Moreover, you can not always stay with your child and resolve the conflicts he has or causes. You will put the foundation for his happiness once you will teach him to resolve the conflicts in which he is involved.
4. Be correct
In the Epistle of James, God says:
My brethren, do not hold your faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of personal favoritism. (James 2:1)(NASB)
Do not hurry to side with your child always and not before you understand well what has happened and who is the culprit. Investigate the case thoroughly and show him where he was wrong and then be ready to use the correct method of discipline. Moreover, if he spoke or behaved badly and it ended up being beaten by his colleagues, it is a way by which the child realizes that evil deeds bring consequences that nobody escapes.
5. If the child fails, interfere directly
In most cases, if taught well and if he wants to listen, the child will succeed to resolve the conflict by himself. But if he is not successful, or he came across colleagues that behave extremely difficult (as it is now fashionable to say in pedagogical terms) you will have to interfere. Go to school to talk to teachers and to understand better what is happening. Then, you should necessarily discuss with the fellow colleagues that use violence to your child. Discuss with other colleagues that are not involved in the conflict, but may throw more light on understanding the cause of what happens. If it does not produce any effect, talk with the parents of the children who use violence and if this does not produce effect, you have every right and duty to call the police to address the situation. In no case allow the child to remain a victim of violence or inhuman treatment.
I remember how many reports were sent about the schools from Balti where girls were using an extremely violent and inhuman treatment to their colleagues.
This is still a serious reason for introducing the teaching of the Bible in public schools.
What experiences did the reader have in this regard and what suggestions does he have for parents whose children are beaten by peers?
Translated by Felicia Rotaru