Recently I was asked about how to respond properly when one is in the circle of people involved in discussions with sexual tint:
What can I do to avoid discussions about sex at work, meetings with friends, family? Recently I was in a meeting with my husband and his family and they were talking things just about sex. I never liked these discussions with sexual touch and I can not laugh at such jokes, that only jokes do not seem to me. What to do when they start making jokes like that? To laugh when I do not like them?
God teaches us …
Let’s be cautious about discussions with sexual tint
The Apostle Paul wrote to Ephesians as follows:
But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. (Ephesians 5:3-5)(NASB)
So, these things must not even be named among Christians:
- any kind of impurity
- silly talk
- coarse jesting, which are not fitting
Discussions with the sexual tinge to which the author of the question referred falls into the category of those listed above, and God teaches us to avoid them or not even mention them among us, because so it is fitting to Christians.
Let’s face with the truth those who initiate and maintain reckless discussions with sexual tint
Going on with the same chapter, the Apostle Paul writes:
Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. (Ephesians 5:6-13)(NASB)
When we spend more time together, near or in a circle of people making inappropriate and foolish jokes with sexual touch, we must:
- not be deceived with empty words, because when we are caught and participate in such discussions with sexual touch, we draw the wrath of God
- not be partakers with those who maintain sexual touch discussions, precisely because of these jokes, even if we once participated in such discussions. We participate in them because we were in the darkness, but now we are in the light in the Lord and we must …
- walk like children of light, i.e., to bring light into the lives of those people who are involved in these discussions with sexual tinge and are still in the darkness
- we must face them with the truth, but do it with goodness and righteousness
- not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness and these discussion with sexual touch are such deeds, so we must avoid them, stay away from them and …
- condemn them. By the fact that we do not participate in such discussions, those who have them understand that we condemn them and if they will really want us to stay in their company, they will refrain from discussing about sex in our presence
When they are among those people who maintain such discussions …
Christians must speak words that give grace to those who hear
In the same Epistle to the Ephesians, the Apostle Paul said:
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you weresealed for the day of redemption. (Ephesians 4:29-30)(NASB)
When the husband, relatives, friends, anyone else starts to say unwholesome words and start talks with sexual touch, we should be aware not to say any unwholesome word, because it will grieve the Holy Spirit who is in us, by whom we were sealed for the day of redemption. However, we should spread the light of God and for this we should take the initiative and talk things that are good for edification according to their needs, to give grace to those who hear us. If they maintain discussions with sexual touch, then let us tell them what God says in His word about them and from them, to proclaim the gospel message, by which we were saved and sanctified.
To be able to confront people and tell them thoroughly regarding their words and jokes with their sexual tint, I recommend everyone to study the inductive Bible study course “The truth abour Sex” and “What does the Bible say about sexuality?” written by Kay Arthur. Another exceptional course by the same author is “Marriage without regrets.” . Lesson 9 of this study addresses the subject of intimate relationship between husband and wife in marriage and if it comes to speak about this, you’ll be able to tell people the truth of God.
Once I was in a car with some government officials. Because we did not know each other, Ithey saw that I am man and without shame, they began to share with each other the impressions of the immorality they had recently had with the women who worked with them at the same place of work. Then, I start talking with them and asked them if they had wives and they said they had. I asked if their wives also had such affairs with their work colleagues. They were astonished and one of them said: “God forbid that I hear something, I do not know what I am going to do to her…” Then I asked them why they did so with the wives to other men and I told them that God said in the Bible:
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. (Galatians 6:7)(NASB)
From this they understood that I am a Christian and began to ask me many questions, so I that all our way I spoke to them about our Lord Jesus Christ and they listened carefully.
God help us whenever we are in the circle of people who maintain disrespectful discussions with sexual touch, to use this opportunity to speak them about the Way of Salvation, as written in the Epistle to the Colossians:
Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned withsalt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. (Colossians 4:5-6)(NASB)
Let us think of this truth and right from the start of the discussions with sexual tinge to redeem the time and bring the topic to the Gospel. And as always have our speaking with grace, seasoned with salt and know how to answer everyone, we should continue to study the Scriptures and in prayers to ask God for boldness and wisdom.
Translated by Felicia Rotaru