What do you do as a wife, if you find out that your husband, who is also a Christian, uses to flirt and use dirty language in the conversation on the Internet. (I tried to talk to him, but he did not admit anything even if I showed him the messages he had written. Instead, he blames me that I am too curious …) If he desires the fictional one, at least that is deducted from the message, is it fornication? So, would this justify the divorce?
Even if the passage which I want to quote does not refer directly to the relationship between husband and wife, it is related to the confrontation of a believer who sins and is a teaching given by the Lord Jesus, who said:
If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. (Matthew 18:15-17)(NASB)
What your husband does is a sin against you, if things that you have written and accuse him of are true. Therefore, it is good that you have confronted your husband and now you must follow the Lord Jesus’ advice on. It is good that you have confronted him, but if he does not admit his fault and apologize, you must go to the next level of confrontation – you have to take one or two persons with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be confirmed. I think it is good to tell the pastor/priest of the local church you belong to and then confront your husband together. Maybe after these discussions your husband will manage to prove that he is not guilty, in fact, and if he is guilty, then his guilt will be proven. Hopefully he will admit his guilt, he will ask forgiveness, will repent and will no longer do such things, which are forbidden and sinful.
Yes, flirting with other women on the Internet can be described as adultery, if we consider the words of the Lord Jesus who said:
but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)(NASB)
But God also says in His Word these words:
“For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the LORD of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” (Malachi 2:16)(NASB)
I advise you to chase the thought of divorce away from your mind and do the utmost for the salvation of your husband and for the integrity of your family. May God bless you.
Translated by Felicia Rotaru