What perspective on life, marriage and eternity does a girl have if she was raped in childhood?


If a child (a girl) was raped in childhood, which means that she will not be a virgin, does it mean that she committed adultery? What is better for that girl: to marry or live alone, seeking to be in communion with God, although it is aware of what happened? Is it morally, spiritually correct that such a “raped” person would still get married to a virgin boy? Can the victim of the “rape” inherit eternal life, given that it was violated the 7th commandment? What should the girl do to be forgiven before God? And how should she continue her life socially, spiritually and even in her family?

To give you an answer to your question, it is important to look first at …

What does the Bible say about rape?

God gave the following commandment concerning rape cases:

If there is a girl who is a virgin engaged to a man, and another man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city and you shall stone them to death; the girl, because she did not cry out in the city, and the man, because he has violated his neighbor’s wife. Thus you shall purge the evil from among you. But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die. But you shall do nothing to the girl; there is no sin in the girl worthy of death, for just as a man rises against his neighbor and murders him, so is this case. When he found her in the field, the engaged girl cried out, but there was no one to save her. (Deuteronomy 22:23-27)(NASB)

From this text the following important truths stand out about the violated person:

  • If the girl was raped and she did not do anything to oppose rape, it means that she agreed and she is equally guilty of this sin. In this case it seems that we can not call it rape, but adultery.
  • If the raped girl was forced to have sexual relations, she can be likened to the victim of a murder and she is not guilty, she should not be accused of adultery. It is true that people are very unjust and they often consider the raped girl guilty, they judge her and condemn her, increasing her pain. In fact, in general, society tends to condemn the victim and intercede in wrongdoer’s favor. Think of how people today think about abortion and abolish the death penalty for killers who committed intentional murder.
  • He who raped a girl is worthy of death and to kidnap a girl’s virginity is like committing a murder. Let all boys and men know this and not believe that if society tolerates this crime, then God will not judge it.

It is good for the rape victim to marry?

Like any other person, the rape victim is free to marry or remain unmarried. It’s her choice. I realize that girls who were raped are afraid to think about the fact that in their marriage they will have sexual relations and for many of them sexual relationship is associated with debasement, humiliation, and aggression. They should study well the Scriptures and understand that the covenant of marriage implies the duty of the wife, according to which the wife should fulfill her husband’s sexual needs just as the husband should fulfill this duty to his wife. Marriage will suffer a lot and the wife who stays with an attitude of repulsion towards sexual relationship will frustrate herself and her husband a lot. Therefore, they should think very well at it before going into marriage. I recommend to all rape victims to do the inductive Bible study courses written by Kay Arthur:

  • Marriage without regrets
  • The truth about sex
  • Lord, heal my hurts

These courses will bring the necessary healing for a happy marriage.

Is it fair for the rape victim to marry a virgin boy?

Yes, it is correct, because as we saw, she is a victim and she is not to be blamed for what happened. But be sure that the boy who marries has the same understanding of things. Otherwise she can realize that she married someone who will not understand her any time, will blame her, and their relationship will suffer a lot.

Can the rape victim inherit eternal life if she broke the 7th commandment?

The 7th Commandment says:

Do not commit adultery. (Exodus 20:14)(NASB)

The Scriptures make it clear that the rape victim is not guilty of this sin. However, the rape victim, and any other person is sinful because the Bible says:

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)(NASB)

And the Bible also says

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23)(NASB)

Thus, the rape victim as any other person in this world must believe in Jesus with all his heart and enter the New Covenant with Him to receive the gift of eternal life. Hurry up to join the New Covenant to be born again, receive the Holy Spirit and have the safety of your salvation.

How can a rape victim continue her life socially, spiritually and in her family?

If she receives God’s forgiveness and healing that come through studying God’s Word, the rape victim will not see herself just so, as the rape victim, but she will see herself as the child of God and live this way, a life of victory with God. I know such people and I admire how God filled them with joy and made them a blessing for their family and for all people. It is God’s plan for anyone who turns to Him – to become a new creature, as it is written:

Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. (2 Corinthians 5:16-17)(NASB)

And if we no longer know anyone according to the flesh, nor the rape victim should see things that way, and live a life of pressure, but know well that in Christ she became a new creature and live a new beautiful life, with Christ and for the glory of God. God help you so.

Translated by Felicia Rotaru