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Question:
The Bible stated clearly all the sins of sexual immorality and I also have read articles from you about the topics. The question I have now is; ‘A man and a woman are married but they work in different places, far from each other then they decide to use phones to sexually stimulate themselves which at the end leads them to masturbation. Is their act sinful or can it be justified and how? What is the Bible saying about this?
Sexual desire is legally fulfilled only through physical union between a husband and his wife, as it is written in Scripture:
But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession, not of command. (1 Corinthians 7:2-6)(NASB)
The very way the question is addressed highlights a temptation, a deception that comes from Satan. Perhaps Satan whispers in your mind that it is not a sin to be sexually stimulated by your wife or your husband and you do not sin in your mind, committing sexual immorality in your mind since it was not a third person involved.
The biggest problem is that the discussion with the wife or husband is only used to sexually stimulate you by phone, but eventually, you satisfy your sinful desires by yourself, through masturbation and not through physical contact, as the Scripture says. If a man fulfills his sexual desire other than by joining together with his wife, it is regarded as adultery. It is also adultery if a woman meets her sexual desire other than by physical union with her husband.
The following passage directly relates to this question:
For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that youabstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)(NASB)
The practice of sexual stimulation over phone is one that Gentiles use, i.e. the pagans who do not know God. God’s will is our sanctification, and we must guard against such a practice, because it is also fornication. For us Christians, it is important to learn to master our vessel in holiness and not in passionate lust. Sexual stimulation by phone is lust and it ends through masturbation, another sin. But someone will ask: How to bridle? Where to get power from?
Power to restrain us and to live holy in every circumstance comes from God through the Holy Spirit. Those who enter the New Covenant with Jesus Christ, together with complete forgiveness, they receive the Holy Spirit who now lives in them and gives them strength to live a holy life. As long as we do not have the Holy Spirit, we live in the flesh who invents all sorts of sin and Satan seeks to deceive us that those are not sins, just because they are made in a different form. God clearly says that they are works of the flesh and sexual stimulation over phone that ends in masturbation is included here, because it is still adultery:
Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21)
Not so is the life of those who have received the Holy Spirit. Its fruits are quite different and among them is self-control, as written:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. (Galatians 5:22-24)(NASB)
May God help us all to live in complete obedience to God and the Holy Spirit who lives in us and those who are true children of God. He who does not have God’s Spirit is not His and he should rush to enter the New Covenant to receive forgiveness of sins and the gift of the Holy Spirit.
Translated by Felicia Rotaru