I have a hard time with sinning in my mind both sexually and bitterness towards others. I have absolutely no intention of being unfaithful with my wife but I have a hard time getting certain thoughts off my mind. It is really frustrating to me and against God’s word and will. Please, help me if you can. God Bless You.
That is, God wants us to be faithful to our wives in our minds and keep our minds clean, because all sins begin in the mind and then they are accomplished, and when they are accomplished, they bring forth death. Therefore, not to be obsessed by evil thoughts in your mind, I suggest to you, according to the Word of God, to do the following things:
1. Watch over your mind
The wise Solomon says that when he was a child his father taught him this:
Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)(NASB)
The word “heart” of this text is a metonymy, that is a figure of speech referring to the mind. Each of us should learn to watch over our mind because the mind thinks according to the information it has been provided with. If you watch pornography, your mind will be affected by the images you see and you will be led to immorality and infidelity. Therefore, any man who wants to be pleasing to God and keep his mind clean, must review all sources of information he uses and exclude those things that defile his mind and affect his entire life.
2. Study the Bible systematically
King David wrote in the Book of Psalms:
How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word. With all my heart I have sought You;
do not let mewander from Your commandments. Your word I havetreasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You. (Psalms 119:9-11)(NASB)
When we form a systematic discipline to study His Word, God transforms our way of thinking and sanctifies us. I recommend to start systematically study the Bible, because man lives not by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. I recommend you to get the materials of inductive Bible study method that will be helpful in this regard. Given the problems you face, I recommend you to get and start studying the manuals “Marriage without regrets” and “The truth about Sex” by Kay Arthur.
3. Choose your friends well
Timothy was Paul’s disciple and a great servant of the Gospel. But the desires of the flesh presented a danger for him, as they do for everyone. Therefore, Paul wrote to him:
Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness,faith, love and peace, with those whocall on the Lordfrom a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:22)(NASB)
And in the next chapter Paul says:
But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful,unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless,conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these. (2 Timothy 3:1-5)(NASB)
Check up well on your friends and see if there are people in your life that influence your thinking so that you get to be obsessed with evil thoughts in your mind. The Scripture says:
Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)(NASB)
4. Abstain from immorality
In the I Epistle to the Christians from the city of Thessaloniki, Apostle Paul wrote:
For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that youabstain fromsexual immorality; thateach of you know how topossess his ownvessel in sanctification andhonor, not inlustful passion, like the Gentiles whodo not know God. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)(NASB)
You need to know to possess your vessel in sanctification and it refers to all sorts of situations in our lives. Here’s a practical example in the life of Job:
I have made a covenant with myeyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin? (Job 31:1)(NASB)
Learn to control your actions and not to gaze at anyone and anything that can provoke your sinful desires.
5. Destroy speculations
In the II Epistle to the Corinthians the Apostle Paul wrote:
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to theobedience of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)(NASB)
Other people do not manage to have control over their thoughts, but Christians can. We can destroy speculations because:
- even if we live in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh
- we do not fight with weapons of the flesh
- we fight against speculations with powerful weapons strengthened by God to destroy every lofty thing raised up in our minds
- by the power of the Holy Spirit that we have received at our new birth, when we entered the new covenant, we can destroy speculations and every lofty thing raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
Now, it is our choice and because we know that we have God’s Spirit, we must act in this power and overcome every evil thought in our minds, taking it captive to the obedience of Christ. So help us God.
Translated by Felicia Rotaru