Why do men fear marriage?


As I look around me these days, I notice many women (even teens) who consider themselves Christians yet at the same time they have no problem deceiving men, murdering their own babies in the womb, and seeming to live with a mindset that has been infected with poison by the Devil. I have seen so much of this going on that it makes me afraid to get married. Could you please give me a Biblical explanation of why things are the way that they are?

It truly seems that things are like this at first glance. But, that is just the first glance. Are men really better than the women these days? Do you not think that both men and women encourage one another is this moral depravity of our days? Why are things the way that they are? The Bible addresses the problem of moral depravity and the decline of a people’s morals.

22 Professing to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. 24 Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. 25 For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. 26 For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions ; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural , 27 and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. 28 And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil ; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice ; they are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful ; 32 and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. (Romans 1)

As you can see from the Biblical text, the moral decline of mankind has affected both men and women. Why is it like this for both? It is so because both men and women do not want to recognize God as being God and in their pride, claiming to be wise, they actually demonstrated their foolishness. They exchanged the truth and glory of God for a lie and began to worship creation instead of the Creator.

What do you expect from a generation that was taught atheism systematically during the Soviet Union? When faith is rejected, there is no longer a foundation for morality to stand upon.

You might say, “yeah, but 20 years after the fall of the USSR things are much worse now when we talk about morals”. Atheism may have fallen but it has been and is still being promoted in the public school system via the lies and blatantly false teachings of evolution. The teachers who impart this material with the students, they call themselves Christians, yet at the same time, they teach that the Bible is a myth and that evolution is a scientific fact. Many of the teachers may not even realize it yet they are destroying the faith of many, many students which destroys the foundation for future morals.

You might also say, “but in Romans, Paul is talking about pagans, not people who pretend to be Christians”. Okay, let’s see what else Paul has to say on this subject in his second epistle to his beloved disciple, Timothy. He warns Timothy of the days that are to come and how some people in the church will act (people who claim to be Christians).

1 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power ; Avoid such men as these. (II Timothy 3)

This passage is written about people who attend worship services at church. They pretend to be Christians, claiming to love God. In all actuality, they love pleasure much more than they love God. These people only have a form of righteousness which is manifested through their church attendance, singing in the choir, usage of Christian lingo etc., yet they deny the power of the Word of God by the way that they live their daily lives. Is it not sad to see many young people today who attend worship services to sing, to hear cool music, to meet up (some to hook up) etc, yet they are not interested in studying the Bible profoundly? In fact, when they are asked to study the Bible, they end up opposing the idea. What is worse is when their leaders do not obey God’s clear teaching on the power of the Word and fall in line with the current Christian culture of fun and games instead of what God desires. In order for us not to fall into the temptation, Paul wrote the following to warn us:

1 I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom : 2 preach the word ; be ready in season and out of season ; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine ; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, 4 and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. (II Timothy 4)

Things are the way that they are and both men and women are equally to blame. We do not need to keep blaming one another. Instead, we need to come together and get to the root of the problem, our sin, and repent, believing in the Gospel with all of our hearts.

You do not need to fear marriage. You need to prepare yourself and use good discernment. Seek to know and serve the Lord with all that you are and then seek a girl who is the same way. It is not true that there are no good girls left. There are plenty of good girls left. I have the honor of pastoring a church with both girls and guys who are dedicated to the Lord and carrying our His mission of taking the Gospel to the world.

I highly recommend that you study the Bible study course written by Kay Arthur, “Someday a marriage without regrets“. These lessons will help both young men and young women prepare for marriage. They will discover their individual roles and learn how to fulfill them. This will help them prepare to have a happy marriage and build a successful home.

Pray for your future wife and ask the Lord to bring her to you because:

4 A man can inherit a house and money from his parents, but only the Lord can give him a sensible wife. (Proverbs 19)

Soon, I will publish another book which will consist mostly of articles that I have written for youth and young adults. Many of the subjects deal with marriage plans like; dating, choosing the right person to marry etc. Pray together with me that God would give me the resources necessary to print this book. May the Lord bless you.

Translation by: Erik Brewer