How to tell people who do not recognize the authority of the Bible about the danger of sexual relations outside of marriage?


How to show to those for whom the Bible does not have authority, that it is not good to “have sex outside of marriage”?

Even if people do not admit the authority of God’s Word and do not want to listen to Him, they know well that sexual relations outside of marriage are wrong. This is what the Scripture says:

For when Gentiles who do not havethe Law doinstinctively the things of the Law, these, not havingthe Law, are a law to themselves, in that they showthe work of the Law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them, on the day when,according to my gospel,God will judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus. (Romans 2:14-16)(NASB)

Hammurabi the Great (1792-1750 BC) is the Babylonian king who is considered the inventor of the first code of laws and he did not know God’s revelation, because the Old Testament had not been yet written at that time. Here are the laws written in the Code of Hammurabi that regulate human sexual behavior:

• If a man take a woman to wife, but have no intercourse with her, this woman is no wife to him.

• If a man’s wife be caught lying with another, they shall be strangled and cast into the water. If the wife’s husband would save his wife, the king can save his servant.

• If a man has ravished another’s betrothed wife, who is a virgin, while still living in her father’s house, and has been caught in the act, that man shall be put to death; the woman shall go free.

How did Hammurabi know that sex between a husband and his wife is what validates a marriage? But how did he and his people know about the institution of marriage that existed for all people? What nations may assume the “license” on the institution? None, because marriage was instituted by God and God is the One who has placed the law in people’s thoughts, that makes them know well the value of marriage and that sexual relations outside of marriage are sinful and evil and bring serious consequences in the lives of those who indulge in them.

Some representatives of post-modern generation make every voluntary and involuntary effort  to stifle any voice of conscience, indulging in all sorts of debauchery and calling evil good. In fact, since the time of the apostles was so and the Scripture, in the beginning of the same Epistle to the Romans says that this thing happened because people did not see fit to acknowledge God in their conscience.

We urge people who do not recognize the authority of the Scriptures to be sincere with their own conscience. I remember how I once invited a friend at the church service. After the service he told me that it was beautiful and good, but he did not understand why he should repent, because he had never hurt anyone. He spoke like the prisoner who said he had been imprisoned because he had coughed. When other prisoners asked for more details, he said he had coughed while stealing, so he had been caught, tried and imprisoned. According to our hero, he was guilty only because he had coughed… You have to be very bold to say that you do not have sins. And, knowing that my friend was married but he had affairs with other women, I asked him about that sin in his life. Then he said:
– Why is it wrong that I have relations with other women? Both they and I feel good and we do not cause us any harm to each other.
– OK, but if your wife, “to feel good” will start to maintain relations with other men “who will also feel good” and so, she will also be “happy with another man”? How about this?, I asked him.
– God forbid …
– Why? You have just said that there is nothing wrong with that.
– “She is a woman and she is not allowed it”, he said.
– But who is the woman with whom you have sex? Isn’t she a woman as well? But why is it “acceptable” for you to have sex with other women and you think that if your wife does so, then it is “bad”? And then, is it right and good to have sex with the woman who is or is to become another man’s wife?, I asked him again.
Our discussion made him think and he admitted that he did not think correctly, because he was honest with himself.

We have to advise those who think that sex outside of marriage is acceptable to be honest with their own conscience, for they will come one day before God, and then, in the Judgment Day, they will be confronted with the thoughts of their consciousness, that judged and stopped them, but they insisted on self-deception. Let not one do so.

We, those who have chosen to live in obedience to God, should know and remember one more thing: that we can not decide for anyone. Our duty is to tell people and to share with them the Word of God, and whether they listen or not is their choice.

Translated by Felicia Rotaru