How to get rid of masturbation when you are not sexually fulfilled by your boyfriend?

Question:

I do not have a regular sexual life. And I do not feel well with my boyfriend, because I do not reach orgasm. He does not know this because I am afraid and ashamed to tell him. I have been masturbating since 14 years and now I’m 18. There are days when I do it 3 times per day. But there are weeks passing and I do not masturbate at all. I swore to God often that I would not do it anymore and I have violated the vow. My fear is that God will forget me because of these sins. Please, help me to get rid of masturbation.

From the letter and the way you ask me the question I realized that you have the desire to live a clean life with God and before Him and that you are not far from the kingdom of God, even if you are embarrassed now in serious sins, because you do not know God’s Word. Before I answer the main question that you have addressed, I want to tell you that from the message I understand that you are not married and maintain sexual relations with your boyfriend without remorse of conscience or see it as a sin.

Cease to live in immorality

What you do, this sexual relationship that you maintain is immorality, is fornication and a grave sin before God who said in the 10 Commandments:

Do not commit adultery. (Exodus 20:14)(NASB)

And in the New Testament He says:

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)(NASB)

A sexual relationship between two unmarried persons is fornication, and if one of them is part of a covenant of marriage, then their immoral relations is called “adultery” in the Bible. Whether you will marry your boyfriend or another man, the fornication you live in now dishonors your future marriage and defiles your bed, that means your sexual relationship. One of the consequences in the lives of those who lived in fornication and adultery is just that they do not find fulfillment during sexual intercourse, i.e. they do not reach orgasm and then, the relationship that was intended by God to bring joy in marriage, is one that brings frustration, tension and sorrow. Stop living in fornication with your friend. When he comes to you next time, tell him what you are doing is wrong and you categorically refuse to have sexual relations until your marriage is officiated. Explain well to your boyfriend what are your reasons and urge him to make this decision, too.

Free yourself from the bondage of sin and flesh

All people live in a sinful nature which they inherited from their parents. This nature is subject to the bondage of sin and makes us helpless when we want to be conquerors. Therefore, after choosing to masturbate the first time, your nature, which is a slave of sin, can not stop, no matter how big your remorse is and how much you want and you promised God that you would not masturbate. Therefore …

You must be born again

This can be achieved only in the lives of those who believed wholeheartedly in the Lord Jesus Christ and joined the New Covenant with Him. When they enter the New Covenant people are born again and receive the Holy Spirit that makes them victorious over earthly sinful nature which hitherto held them slaves sold to sin. Only then, when you enter the New Covenant with Jesus, when you receive the Holy Spirit of God, you will be able to own a complete victory over the sin of masturbation and immorality, which enslave you now and you will be able to live a righteous life. God says in Scripture:

No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. (1 John 3:9)(NASB)

I invite you to read some articles about masturbation previously published by me on portal Moldova Creștină where I answered the questions of other people, like you, seeking release from the sin of masturbation.

God bless you through His Holy Spirit to make you understand and go on the Way of Salvation, to have full freedom from the bondage of sin and live a happy and victorious life on earth and inherit the gift of eternal life in the Kingdom of God.

Translated by Felicia Rotaru