Every man dreams to have a strong family, because this gives safety, joy and fulfilment to you on this earth. But most families can not be named strong families. Why? Because people don’t know the One who can build up families and they don’t know how to build up a family. Unfortunately, there is not taught such a course at school. Those who tried to introduce in schools the course “Manners for life” didn’t reserve at least one single chapter for family. At the contents of the book this word was never mentioned. Nevertheless, there is an exceptional book, written by God, that has been experienced for ages. The Manual of Building up the Family is the Bible. I have chosen to build up my family according to his manual and in this article I want to present to you some practical advice, from God, how to build up a strong family.
Don’t try to build up a strong family with your own effort. Psalm 127 was written by Solomon and it speaks on this subject, that of building up a strong family. Psalms are holy songs. Here is how this psalm begins:
Unless the LORD builds the house, hey labor in vain who build it; unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain. (Psalm 127:1)(NASB)
Most people want to build up a lasting family, but because they want to do it without God, they fail and all their great efforts are in vain. All money they gain, is lost in the same way or they spend it, so that finally thay have nothing else than bitterness. I know a family where the wife went abroad to gain money to send her children to school, thinking that in this way she would be able to build up her family. When she came back at home, she had big quarrels with her husband and so, she went back. She continued to work to gather 20.000$, so that she may buy an apartment. When she came at home, some thieves took her handbag and wanted to steal it when she left the apartment. She was triying hardly to keep the handbag, so that she was dragged along by them for a good distance, nevertheless, she didn’t manage and they took her handbag. She fell into a deep depression and she was affected psychically. The relationship with her husband was broken totally, they divorced and the children went abroad. This is the end of all human efforts that are without God. By the way, I had talked to this person about God and about the importance to obey Him. She could have listened to that and rejoice with her family. Now I don’t even know what her situation is, but I intuit that her desperation is deeper.
You can’t build up a strong family when you have wrong priorities. Many people don’t seek God because that are deceived by the riches of this world. I remember how, being a child, our aunt was visiting us. She was a special Christian and she was always advising our father to read the Scriptures, to believe in God and so, the peace and the joy might have come in our family. The father, who was an abusive man and who provoked many sufferings to my mother and to us, the children, was trying to be a good householder and he was working hardly. Every time he replied to the aunt, who was his sister: “I can’t do it, Zanovia. If I read the Bible, who is going to work for me?” He said that, as it seemed that the aunt had been never working. It is true that she had less wealth than my father did, but she had built a beautiful family. But we had had a hell in our home and after my mother died, we were thrown away from our house, to live on the streets. If my father had sought God, his and our life would have been different. All his work was in vain and neither he nor we rejoiced of the results. He had wrong prorities and he wanted to live his life without God, who says:
It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors; for He gives to His beloved even in his sleep. (Psalm 127:2)(NASB)
The Lord Jesus emphasized in the sermon on the mountain how important it is to have and to keep correct priorities in our life, when he said:
Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (The Gospel of Matthew 6:31–33)(NASB)
What do you seek firstly when you build up your family – material goods or God’s righteousness? Don’t be deceived, because those who don’t seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, it is in vain they rise up early and retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors. But His beloved seek first the holy things and their relationship with Him. That’s why, He gives to them even in their sleep, that is with minimal efforts and with a blessing that is highlighted for them and for those who are around them.
Think more of the members of your family than of wealth. Goods are given to enjoy them and to give pleasure to those who are around us. Those who have wrong priorities in life make out of goods a torture for people. My thought brings me back to my childhood, when every evening my father was sending my sisters to steal from the vineyard grapes, apples, and all that was possible to steal, as were all others doing, because they have learnt the communist politics. There was a song sung in that times: “In kolkhoz, on the hills, all gets the one who steals…” My poor sisters were sent alone, in the night, they were still teenagers and they had to pass the forest and to carry 80 kilos full sacks. After my father went to sleep, my mother went out, crying, to meet them in the forest. When they got at home, they were so exhausted and didn’t even have power to wash the must that was spilled on their weak shoulders. But the father allow them to take only an apple per day, or maybe no one. He allowed them to take only those apples that began to spoil of a certain kind. He didn’t allow them to take those that were good. The man that fears God has correct priorities and doesn’t act this way. He enjoys his family and praises God having this joy. Here is how nice the Word of God describes this blessed man’s family:
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127:3–5)(NASB)
It is sad that now people don’t attach much value to children, to their relation with God and even believers became affected by this postmodern thinking. They want to make a career and wealth firstly, and after that to marry and then to have children. Others marry but, again, firstly they want to make a career, a position and then they decide to conceive children. How sad. The correct order of a blessed man according to this psalm and to the whole Word of God is: God, the members of the family and then, goods. And the wealth is given to worship God and to give pleasure to the members of the family, to feel with others and to help those in need.
What are your values and prorities? What do you run for? How strong is your family? What is the result of your efforts and runs? Stop for a while and think, and then take right and wise decisions.
Translated by Djugostran Felicia