We have been dating for three years and we have already had sex. We can not get married too soon, perhaps in several years, because we still need to study at the university, not to make children and live being supported by our parents after getting married. What can we do if we have already committed this sin? What will happen if somehow this relationship will not stand? How will I tell another boyfriend that I will have that I can not offer anything to him in the wedding night? Or am I forced to marry only this boy, because I have committed this sin?
Dating does not lead to good …
It would have been wise and right to accept to date neither this guy nor another one, since both of you were not ready to get married. If you say that you should continue to study, you should have focused all your energy on your studies, not on dating, until you were ready to get married.
Your sexual relationship now is one outside the covenant of marriage and it is condemned by God and you will bear the consequences, for He said:
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)(NASB)
What to do if you have already committed this sin?
I wrote an article on this subject and you can read it here:”For the girls who have fallen into the sin of fornication”
How will you say that you are not virgin to the man who will propose marriage to you?
You will have to tell him when he will propose marriage to you, if you are determined to give an affirmative answer and to marry him. You should not go into details because these details can cause him even more pain, but you must say to him that you are not a virgin and be honest with him. If he will forgive this sin you will get married forgiven, and if he will not forgive you, you will not even want to enter into a marriage where you will always be charged and despised. I can assure you that if a righteous man, who has experienced God’s forgiveness in Christ Jesus, will come to ask you to marry him, he will forgive you as he was forgiven, and never will remind you this sin again. And if he will not be such a man, I think you will not want to marry him, because you will not be happy with a man who does not know and understand forgiveness.
Are you obliged to marry only the man with whom you have committed fornication?
No. You are obliged to stop committing fornication and interrupt any sexual relationship that is unrighteousness before God. You should tell your boyfriend that you categorically refuse any sexual relationship with him until you register your marriage, and officiate your wedding and your next sexual relationship can be only in the wedding night. If he loves you, he will begin to respect you even more for this decision and will rush to get married and have the wedding, and if he does not love you, will leave you and thus you will get rid of a man who wanted to use you.
Translated by Felicia Rotaru