In our “€oemodern” world, as some may call it, there’re a lot of discussions about this controversial subject, about concubinage. Some believe that it is something unique for our modern days and many believe that if you want to be modern, you have to live in concubinage. Actually, in the United States 40% of the adults say they tried at least once to live in concubinage. They say it is better that way, because if you want to leave there are no problems, you leave and your partner leaves as well. Is it really so? Is it proven that there are no problems? Let’s look in the Holy Scriptures to see if concubinage is something modern and if it avoids problems or causes them.
Concubinage is a sin and does not bring fulfillment.
To leave in concubinage means that two adults leave together as a married couple, but in fact, they are not married. A part of their relationship is, of course, the sexual relationship. To have sex outside marriage is a sin (fornication, passion of lust) and the Bible says it clearly about those who live in fornication:
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)
God’s will for each christian is to abstain from sexual immorality. A christian and immorality has nothing in common, and it shouldn’t. Christians have to be holy (be different, pure in heart, pure in actions) and our holiness is seen through our sexual life (if it is pure, meaning that it is lived by God’s will or unclean, in disobedience to the Bible). The whole world lives in sexual immorality, but christians ought to be different and not to follow immorality.
Sexual relationship outside marriage (concubinage) means to leave in passion of lust (you are a slave of sin, you cannot stop yourself). If a man leaves in passion of lust that means he doesn’t know God (in other words, he is not a christian and has nothing to do with God)
Another reason why concubinage is bad is because the man has no respect for the girls especially towards the girl he lives with. The word concubinage come from the word “concubine”, that was used in the old days for a girl that lived with a man for his pleasures only, and he didn’t want to marry her because he didn’t respect her. There are examples of concubinage in the Bible, but it is never promoted or seen as a good thing. God created sexual relationship only for the husband and wife within their marriage. In Genesis 2:24 God says:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
They are joined in their marriage and only then they become one flesh (sexual relationship). Those who live in concubinage are judged by God. In the book of Hebrews 13:4 we see what God says about concubinage (fornication):
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
The bed in marriage is defiled through fornication and adultery. Concubinage is fornication. If you marriage bed is defiled, then you do not honor your marriage (in present and future). God created sexual relationship to be pure and clean at all times, but if you don’t want to listen and you don’t want to do what God says in the Bible, then you will have serious consequences. It doesn’t say when the judgement will come, but be sure that it will. If the judgement (punishment) hasn’t come yet, there’s an important reason why and 2 Peter 3:8-9 gives the reason why:
But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.
God doesn’t want to punish you, but He will bring judgement if you don’t repent (renewing of your mind, that brings change in your actions). He gives you time to repent, but if you choose not to listen to Him during his longsuffering towards us, He also says:
Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance? But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God (Romans 2:4-5)
If you wait and don’t repent you are treasuring up for yourself wrath, you are doing bad for yourself. The Lord Jesus Christ died to pay the wages of sin (the sin that you committed) in your place (you had to pay it). You have a choice to accept what Jesus did for you, to repent and live in sin no more. Always be obedient and help those who destroy their lives through the sin of concubinage.
Translated by: Slavic Crilov