Lately I am very confused … As a young teenager I was far from God and I had a relationship with a Christian boy like me, but we had also sexual relations for half a year, it seemed a trifle at first but my spiritual condition deteriorated further when I realized what I did. Two years have passed since then and I repented in church but now I want to be baptized. Please help me and explain to me if I have to have doubts about that I am totally forgiven by God or not and if my blessings are not taken when I will be married me because I did it. Sometimes I feel that God takes this into account and I do not feel free even when I go to church. I want ask you to explain me if this should be confessed to the brothers of the church. Thanks in advance!
Adultery dishonors and defiles marriage
From this message I realize that you knew the Bible when you chose to commit adultery with that boy and you considered yourself a Christian and you knew what God says in this regard, namely:
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)(NABS)
Your deed with that “Christian” boy is fornication and, as you see, it dishonors and defiles the marriage both yours and his, whether you will get married together or not.
God forgives sins
In the First Epistle of John, God says this:
This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; (1 John 1:5-6)(NASB)
And it seems that you and that boy lived so before.You considered yourselves Christians, you said that you had fellowship with God, but walked in darkness (fornication) and so, you lied and did not practice the truth.Here’s what God says for such cases:
but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:7-9)(NASB)
So, if you say that you have confessed your sin, then God is faithful and has forgiven your sins and cleansed you from all unrighteousness. So, you received a full forgiveness.
Sins leave consequences
King David committed fornication, and it was once in his life.Only once … but then it took him to another sin – murder. God sent the prophet Nathan to confront David:
Nathan then said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the LORD God of Israel, ‘It is I who anointed you king over Israel and it is I who delivered you from the hand of Saul. I also gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your care, and I gave you the house of Israel and Judah; and if that had been too little, I would have added to you many more things like these! Why have you despised the word of the LORD by doing evil in His sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword, have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the sons of Ammon. Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.’ Thus says the LORD, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you from your own household; I will even take your wives before your eyes and give them to your companion, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. Indeed you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, and under the sun.’” Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD “ And Nathan said to David, “The LORD also has taken away your sin; you shall not die. ”However, because by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born to you shall surely die.” (2 Samuel 12:7-14)(NASB)
See? God forgave David because he repented and confessed his sin. But the consequences in his life came one after another as they were announced by God and David received them in humility, with tears and with his head bowed.
You should not be burdened by the guilt of the committed sin, because it was forgiven, fully forgiven by God.But, you can not expect to have in your marriage the blessings that you would enjoy if you would have kept yourself pure virgin.
I do not know what you mean when you say that you want to confess the sin to the brothers from the church, but I suppose you think about the pastor. If the Spirit of God urges you to do this, then you must confess.
If the “Christian” boy with whom you had adulterous relations is also a member of the church and everyone thinks he is a Christian, then you must go and tell him to repent of his sin and to confess it to the pastor.But if he does not, then you owe to tell the pastor about this to be expelled from the church and not to claim that he is a Christian and lives in adultery, as the Scripture teaches us.
There is someone else whom you must confess your sin. This is the man who will come to ask you in marriage.You owe to confess your sin and tell him that you are not a virgin.If he will be a man who experienced God’s forgiveness, he will forgive you with a full forgiveness, if he sees in you a true born again Christian, and if not, it is better not to get married.
Be a true disciple
Now try to get closer to God wholeheartedly.Begin to study the Scriptures in depth and make it a discipline and be a true disciple of Jesus, as He once said the Jews that believed in Him:
So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” (John 8:31-32)(NASB)
Study God’s Word to know the truth and the truth will make you free from sin.On this occasion I invite you to study English at the English camp where we study the Bible and “Marriage without regrets” course. Thus you will learn how to prepare yourself and how to relate to your future spouse so that you will have a blessed marriage.
Translated by Felicia Rotaru