Is it alright for Christian couples to watch pornography together?

Question:

In the marriage relation is it alright to watch movies for adults, if husband and wife watch it together?

Before I answer this question, I want to know, what you mean, when you write ‘’movies for adults only’’. Do you refer to pornographic movies? I know some say it’s different between erotic and pornography, but I say it’s the same thing from Christian view, and gives the same results. So, if your question is regarding this kind of movies, then my answer is, that you should not watch, neither on your own nor together, and neither with other people. Do not watch them, at all. And here is why:

Apostle Paul wrote to the Christians from Thessalonica so:

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body  in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)

Our sinful nature is liable and determined to sin, and sexual sins, do not make exception, contrary, sometimes have so high intensity and frequency, depending from person to person. Gentiles, or pagans (or so called nominals Christians which are pagans), in which we make a living , do not know God and they get ‘hot’ after each other. This movies ‘for adult only’ turn on sexual desires. Pagans exploit all things regarding sexual desire through publicity and trade. We as Christians have God’s wisdom and we know His will which is to become holy, therefore we have to avoid all that can turn on our sexual desires, including watching pornographic movies and movies with erotic scenes.

It’s our responsibility as Christians to learn how to keep ourselves holy and without blame, and to avoid all kind of things that can turn on our sexual desire toward another person other than our husband or wife. And why would you accept to watch together movies with erotic scenes? Maybe you think that this movies can help you keep up your sexual attraction to each other, in marriage, but your wrong, because in this movies, your sexual desires will be turned on toward the person which is in the movie. Jesus have said that anyone who sees a woman and desire her, he have just committed adultery in his heart. By this words of Jesus, seeing the sexual activity of another person and being captured in your mind, by her, you are guilty of adultery. And what does it matter if you do this alone, or together with your wife or husband or with other person? Aren’t the results the same?

Sexual relation was created by God and given to you, so that you have it only for your intimacy as husband and wife, in marriage. To watch this movies it’s like allowing the actors to come into your mind and in your bedroom, to show you, their way of doing it. Don’t do so, and keep in mind what is written in the Word of God:

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (Hebrews 13:4)

One more thing. Accepting to watch together (but also separate) pornographic movies, you make your partner to compare you with that actor or actress from the movie, regarding your sexual attractiveness and sexual performance. So that you know , you will fail in the conclusions your husband or wife will have. This will be negatively reflected in your relation and intimacy.

I recommend you to buy the bible study course called : ”Marriage without regrets’’ by Kay Arthur and to study together lesson number 9, to get a strong understanding of how the physical relation be build and kept, in marriage. I recommend you also a course called ”The truth about sex” of the same author.

Keep up on God’s Word which says that there should not be any sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Because you know it well that no immoral, impure or greedy person, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Walk as children of light and let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them. So help us God.

Translated by Laura Graverse