Why did they choose a civil wedding ceremony and ignore the religious one?

25 ian 2012 | ora 07.10 Family | Vasile Filat

Question:

We had a situation in our church that brought about a lot of “discussion” because we could not decide if it were a sin to do this or not. I would love to know your opinion on this subject. A young lady who was a member of our church married a young man who was a new believer. He had already entered into the New Covenant but had yet to be baptized. They went and registered their marriage with the state yet they did not let the church know what they had done. The members of the church found out about their marriage about a month and a half later. There are a lot more little details that go along with this situation but in general, I would love to know what you think about this situation.

I am very sad to hear of such an act. It is hard to imagine that two children of God would act like this. If she is a believer and member of the local church and he is member as well then how could they both behave in such a manner? My first question is, “did this young man “repent” so that he would be allowed to marry her or did he do it with all of his heart because he wants to serve God?”. I hope that I am wrong.

I believe that the church leaders have already done this but if they have not, then they need to go to this couple and talk to them, asking what they did and why they did it. The leaders need to find out what their motivation was in doing what they did the way that they did it? One of the reasons is clear; they did not want to wait for the young man to get baptized before getting married. His baptism would not have been or should not have been far off it he were living a life of obedience to God as proof that he has been born again. The fact that they were in a hurry to marry before his baptism makes me wonder if there were there some hidden sins that could have surfaced before he would have had a chance to be baptized, postponing the wedding.

True children of God do not act the way that these two did, especially in view of marriage because true children of God know that God instituted marriage and what He teaches about marriage in the Scriptures. How can you avoid a church wedding (religious wedding) when that is the official wedding covenant before the Lord?

After the leaders of the church have a discussion with the couple and find out the reasons why they acted as they did, then the leaders along with the rest of the church must decide what the consequences of such actions should be.

Translation by: Erik Brewer

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I am the pastor of the ”Good News” Church in Chisinau, Moldova, I teach God's Word at the Inductive Bible Study Institute of Eurasia, and I also lead the "Precept Ministries in Moldova” Association. With God's help I founded the Taekwon-Do club " Stolas Leukas ""English for a New Life" School, the Computer School "ScripTehInfo", the International Sports Coaching School and the International Media School. I am married to Anastasia, and we have three children. Since April 2007 we have provided answers from the Bible on this website to 1190 questions submitted by readers. To learn more about me, please read here.
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